I’m having one of those days, y’all… one of those days when I’m fine one minute, and then I’m collapsing in a puddle of tears because ALL the emotions are going on over here today. WHY I even put on makeup today is beyond me.
For my friends who have been following my blog for a while, you know about the tumor, and for those who don’t, my middle daughter, Annie, was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2009, just a couple of weeks before her third birthday. That story is here if you want to take a gander, or if you just want the Cliff’s Notes version, it was a small tumor, not causing any problems, and taking it out could potentially cause worse problems than leaving it in for the time being. So, we’ve elected to wait and watch and fast and PRAY like crazy that God would just REMOVE the tumor so that surgery never has to happen.
It can happen. God can do that. I’ve seen it happen.
Annie had her eighth (I think) MRI yesterday to take a look at what’s going on inside her head, and as always, it’s a very frightening thing and neither Annie nor I sleep for about a week before. It’s not just fear of what we might find out (though that’s always very real); it’s a very grueling day for all of us, but ESPECIALLY Annie, and I dread just the exhaustion of it all too, and my heart aches that Annie has to endure this.
So many of my friends were praying for us… I was bombarded with emails and texts and Facebook messages, and I’m tearing up again just thinking about how BLESSED we are that so many people from our church, our school, our work, and people we’ve never even met before care about one little eight-year-old and actually take the time to pray for us and to let me know they were praying.
All of you who made the effort to WRITE SOME WORDS to me over the past two days, I’m putting your names on a list because I NEVER want to forget how grateful I am for you. I am your devoted friend for life, just FYI.
And then I think about how two of the friends who messaged me to tell me they were praying have lost their own daughters to brain tumors, and another one has had an ongoing battle with a brain tumor in her daughter’s head for several years now, and the floodgates open and I’m so incredibly humbled because I just don’t even KNOW why God would bless ME with the thrilling news we got yesterday… but all I know is that GOD DID. And I don’t know how people who have had their lives devastated by the loss of a child to a brain tumor could be so gracious and thoughtful to US, but they were. And I feel just pretty much undeserving of all of these good things. I promise to never let Annie forget that she’s healthy and happy BECAUSE GOD gave her that gift, and her life has tremendous value and she should NEVER take it for granted.
We met with a new neurosurgeon yesterday. Annie’s previous doc, Dr. Sacco, has moved away, and so we saw Dr. Weprin, and I was impressed with how thorough he was, and just how NICE. He seemed to really care about Annie.
And also… he seemed to be quite baffled that Annie’s tumor is measuring SMALLER. “We never see this happen,” he repeated. It wasn’t new info to me, this lack of faith doctors seem to have about things just healing without medical intervention; I had asked her other doc if it was possible that the tumor might go away on it’s own, and he said NO. Tumors only get bigger, he said, from a medical standpoint. And it’s not just smaller, it’s less dense, and he gave us a really good explanation of that that I would only botch if I tried to repeat. Suffice it to say… the big, scary tumor SEEMS TO BE DISSOLVING (my word, not docs) like a wicked witch who’s been doused with a bucket of water.
I have my theories as to why.
There are two very powerful forces that came into play here, and prayer is the first and foremost. I’ve seen too many of my prayers answered in a supernatural way, too many times. It’s real, y’all.
And I’ll tell you about the other one tomorrow.
The song that’s running through my head today…
Your love is like a waterfall, waterfall
Running wild and free
You hear my heart when I call, when I call
Deep calls to deep
Your love is like a waterfall, waterfall
Raining down on me…
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