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In Defense of Mansplaining

December 12, 2020 By Melissa Beene Ford Leave a Comment

Throughout the 14+ year history of this little blog, a LOT has gone on behind the scenes of my life.

I mean, that’s an understatement. If you were to rate my life on the Holmes- Rahe Stress Scale I should be dead by now. I won’t go into all that.

If you know, you know.

I’m a lot older and a lot wiser now than I was when I began this blog in 2006. I look back at old blog posts from back then and I cringe. The person I was when I wrote those posts isn’t the person I am now.

Hundreds of posts have been deleted, lest someone stumble upon one of those posts.

I’ve written tons of posts about men during these fourteen years ~ good men and bad ~ and some that I used to think were good, I now KNOW are bad.

But one thing that is certain is that my life has been affected hugely by men.

The most abusive, sociopathic, narcissistic, evil people to cross my path since 2006 have been men. The ones who have stolen from me, bullied me, lied about me and to me… men. Little pansy-ass cowardly beta males. Real men don’t do those things.

But the BEST, most helpful, servant-hearted, giving, generous, amazing people ever to cross my path have been… men.

I have several in my life who have blessed my life more than I have words to express.

There’s my dad, who would lay down his life for me. He has fixed all the things and handed me cash more times than I can count. I’m a single mom and he was raised by a widow single mom so he feels EXTRA responsible for me.

There are a couple of friends’ husbands who have advised me on buying a car, FIXED my car, given me advice on raising children, or let me cry at their kitchen table with their wives for far too many hours. All things they sure didn’t have to do, but good men just do things like that.

There’s a guy friend I’m spending a lot of time with lately who is strong and loyal and grounded and hard-working and intelligent and honest and admirable and protects and provides for the ones he cares about.

I’m blessed and thankful to have so many good men in my life.

Alpha Males, all of them.

The stereotypical masculine male who gets bashed all over social media these days.

Those are the ones who ALWAYS show up for me.

I know if I needed anything, if my car broke down, if I needed groceries, if I was scared, ANY of those men would jump in their truck and be right here.

Gosh, even the roofers, electricians, plumbers and handymen who have worked on my house, I truly believe look out for me a little extra, maybe because I’m a single mom, maybe just because I’m a woman. I don’t know. But I’ve been taken care of, they quite often go above and beyond for me, and I notice it and I’m grateful.

Men in trucks.

I like the men in trucks.

And there’s the ‘mansplaining.’

I never knew ‘mansplaining’ was a real ‘thing’ until I started seeing memes and jokes all over social media about it.

It occurred to me when I noticed my guy friend taking extra time to carefully explain something to me that I already knew. I didn’t tell him I already knew; I just thanked him for helping me.

Apparently ‘mansplaining’ offends the feminist crowd. And I’ll be honest…I don’t understand this brand of feminism that is offended by men who wanna help. I LOVE for men to open the doors for me and protect me and provide for me and help me when the ‘man’ things that are hard for me to do.

And I love it when men take the time to explain things to me. It’s never because they think I’m dumb, or because they need to prove they’re smarter than I am, or for any other reason than because

…a good man protects and provides.

This is the heart behind it. Good men want to help you, and protect you, and provide for you.

The Beta Males do not.

He has evaluated, and decided you are worth, taking the time to explain something to.

I will always be grateful for that.

For all of you good men who have stepped up to help this single mama out, thank you. My life is better because of good men.

Even if your version of helping me out looks like ‘mansplaining’ to the feminists.

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Hi, I'm Melissa! Texas Girl. Single Mom. Old house fanatic. Welcome to my corner of the internet! I hope to bring you all my deep thoughts about life, Jesus, health and happiness, and decorating my little home without breaking the bank. I will try my best to make you laugh. Or cry... but only for a minute or two. We'll see how it goes. Anyhoo, thanks for being here!! Follow me on Instagram (link below) to keep up with my daily stories. And be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a post.

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I love Saturday. 💕 Saturday’s my favorite. 😁 Projects going down today, starting with three gallons of white paint from @sherwinwilliams. What in the world should I paint first? 🤔 What’s happening at YOUR house today?
Snow in East Texas. It’s a big deal. ❄️ Snow in East Texas. It’s a big deal. ❄️
It’s a beautiful day if you’re solar powered ☀️ like me. It’s also a beautiful day for napping in the sun ☀️ if you’re like @sophiejunethedoodle. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I feel SO fortunate to get to work from home where I can sit by a window and even open it when the weather is right 👌🏻 even tho I can hear #goldendoodle snores from my home office... 🤔 Working from home has been on my #visionboard for years and it finally happened. 👏🏻What’s on YOUR vision board for 2021? 👉🏻Answer my poll in my stories! 👈🏻 #theresnoplacelikehome #workfromhomelife #iloveworkingfromhome
The whole Christmas 🎄 story, in these lyrics ri The whole Christmas 🎄 story, in these lyrics right here. I believe every word is true. After church this morning I decided these words needed to be added to my chalk wall. 👉🏻 In the darkness we were waiting
Without hope without light
Till from heaven You came running
There was mercy in Your eyes
To fulfil the law and prophets

To a virgin came the Word
From a throne of endless glory
To a cradle in the dirt

Praise the Father
Praise the Son
Praise the Spirit three in one
God of glory
Majesty
Praise forever to the King of Kings

To reveal the kingdom coming
And to reconcile the lost
To redeem the whole creation
You did not despise the cross

For even in Your suffering
You saw to the other side
Knowing this was our salvation
Jesus for our sake You died

And the morning that You rose
All of heaven held its breath
Till that stone was moved for good
For the Lamb had conquered death

And the dead rose from their tombs
And the angels stood in awe
For the souls of all who’d come
To the Father are restored

And the Church of Christ was born
Then the Spirit lit the flame
Now this gospel truth of old
Shall not kneel shall not faint

By His blood and in His Name
In His freedom I am free
For the love of Jesus Christ
Who has resurrected me
HaPPy NeW YeaR! 🎉 Is today the day we throw out HaPPy NeW YeaR! 🎉 Is today the day we throw out the cat houses made of all the Christmas boxes and blue tape, or do we have to wait for epiphany? 🤔 Wishing you ALL the blessings of a brand new year! 👏🏻 May the Lord crown the year with bounty so that even the wagon tracks overflow with abundance. Psalm 65:11 🌱
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My top nine pics of 2020. 🤷🏼‍♀️ These My top nine pics of 2020. 🤷🏼‍♀️ These all make me happy to look at ~ I do love this little home we have ~ but none of these represent my top moments of 2020, which would be memories I made with the people I love the most. 💕 It’s been a year of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but still, the person I am at the end of 2020 is better than who I was back in January in so many ways. Lots of lessons learned. Lots of figuring out what I want and what I don’t and who I wanna be and who I need around me. Can’t wait to see what 2021 holds but I know for sure there will be love and grace and mercy and peace. #topnine #topnine2020 #theyearinreview
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I love Saturday. 💕 Saturday’s my favorite. 😁 Projects going down today, starting with three gallons of white paint from @sherwinwilliams. What in the world should I paint first? 🤔 What’s happening at YOUR house today?
Snow in East Texas. It’s a big deal. ❄️ Snow in East Texas. It’s a big deal. ❄️
It’s a beautiful day if you’re solar powered ☀️ like me. It’s also a beautiful day for napping in the sun ☀️ if you’re like @sophiejunethedoodle. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I feel SO fortunate to get to work from home where I can sit by a window and even open it when the weather is right 👌🏻 even tho I can hear #goldendoodle snores from my home office... 🤔 Working from home has been on my #visionboard for years and it finally happened. 👏🏻What’s on YOUR vision board for 2021? 👉🏻Answer my poll in my stories! 👈🏻 #theresnoplacelikehome #workfromhomelife #iloveworkingfromhome
The whole Christmas 🎄 story, in these lyrics ri The whole Christmas 🎄 story, in these lyrics right here. I believe every word is true. After church this morning I decided these words needed to be added to my chalk wall. 👉🏻 In the darkness we were waiting
Without hope without light
Till from heaven You came running
There was mercy in Your eyes
To fulfil the law and prophets

To a virgin came the Word
From a throne of endless glory
To a cradle in the dirt

Praise the Father
Praise the Son
Praise the Spirit three in one
God of glory
Majesty
Praise forever to the King of Kings

To reveal the kingdom coming
And to reconcile the lost
To redeem the whole creation
You did not despise the cross

For even in Your suffering
You saw to the other side
Knowing this was our salvation
Jesus for our sake You died

And the morning that You rose
All of heaven held its breath
Till that stone was moved for good
For the Lamb had conquered death

And the dead rose from their tombs
And the angels stood in awe
For the souls of all who’d come
To the Father are restored

And the Church of Christ was born
Then the Spirit lit the flame
Now this gospel truth of old
Shall not kneel shall not faint

By His blood and in His Name
In His freedom I am free
For the love of Jesus Christ
Who has resurrected me
HaPPy NeW YeaR! 🎉 Is today the day we throw out HaPPy NeW YeaR! 🎉 Is today the day we throw out the cat houses made of all the Christmas boxes and blue tape, or do we have to wait for epiphany? 🤔 Wishing you ALL the blessings of a brand new year! 👏🏻 May the Lord crown the year with bounty so that even the wagon tracks overflow with abundance. Psalm 65:11 🌱
Instagram post 17875671470084040 Instagram post 17875671470084040
My top nine pics of 2020. 🤷🏼‍♀️ These My top nine pics of 2020. 🤷🏼‍♀️ These all make me happy to look at ~ I do love this little home we have ~ but none of these represent my top moments of 2020, which would be memories I made with the people I love the most. 💕 It’s been a year of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but still, the person I am at the end of 2020 is better than who I was back in January in so many ways. Lots of lessons learned. Lots of figuring out what I want and what I don’t and who I wanna be and who I need around me. Can’t wait to see what 2021 holds but I know for sure there will be love and grace and mercy and peace. #topnine #topnine2020 #theyearinreview
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