• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Blue House Blog

  • Home
  • About
    • About
    • Truth
    • Contact Me
  • Recipes
    • Trim Healthy Mama
    • Nourishing Traditions
  • My Home
    • Remodeling
    • Before and After
  • The Fine Print
    • Disclosure
    • Privacy
    • Media
  • Shop

Patient and Kind

October 23, 2020 By Melissa Beene Ford Leave a Comment

I’ve been reading The Love Dare for Parents lately, and I tell ya what….

I’m only four days in, or maybe five ~ I lose track on account of how I’ve gone back and re-read the chapters two or four times each, ~ and it has gutted me.

Patient and Kind…

These words are stuck in head lately, and it’s because of this book. This book has hit me where it hurts, every single day.

I know love is patient. I know love is kind. I’ve had that whole passage from the Bible memorized since I was a kid.

It’s just that somewhere over the last three years, since I’ve let myself* be overwhelmed by single mom life, I MAY have forgotten to be patient and kind to my kids.

I mean, not that it’s NOT overwhelming being a single mom, but I say ‘let myself‘ because we ALL have stress and struggles, but we can choose to believe that

The Lord is my Shepherd and I CAN leave all the stress and strain and hard decision to HIM…

…but I forget.

I focus on ALL I HAVE TO DO, ALL ALONE, let myself feel overwhelmed, and don’t leave enough margin in my life for the extras like ‘patience’ and ‘kindness’ because DANGIT, WE HAVE TO GET DINNER COOKED AND GET HOMEWORK DONE AND I WORK, OK? I. WORK. AND IT’S A STRESSFUL JOB AND I AM ALREADY BEHIND AND THAT IS ALL THE BANDWIDTH I HAVE.

It’s super painful for me to admit this publicly, just so you know.

BUT it was also super painful for me to realize this about myself, and I have felt this heavy conviction about how I, alone, have made these last three years SO MUCH HARDER on my kids than it should have been, because I was not PATIENT AND KIND. I’m blinking back tears even typing that out.

The GOOD news is, I guess, that I am still capable of being convicted and changing my ways. And it WILL change, because I want my kids to have fond memories of their amazing childhoods growing up with me.

THANK GOD, I get a new chance every day.

Just yesterday morning, for instance, my patience and kindness levels got severely tested, as they tend to do, getting kids to school in the mornings…

Susie wasn’t wearing what Annie thought she should wear, and Annie was annoyed with it.

Susie was annoyed that Annie was treating her like a kindergartener.

Then one of them was in the way when the other one was making their lunch…

Yada yada yada.

Me: DO Y’ALL REALLY ENJOY THIS? DO YOU *ENJOY* THE WAY YOU TALK TO EACH OTHER?!

In all caps because I may have been yelling it.

We get into the car to leave, four minutes later than PRIME leave-the-house-time, steam already coming out of my ears, and I step outside into a river running down my driveway.

I gasp in horror at the water standing several inches deep around my tires.

Earthworms flopping around in the driveway because they’ve been flooded up out of the ground.

That’s when I realized someone had left the water hose running ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

I mean, WHO did it isn’t important right now, but that million dollar mistake, UGH, JUST WHEN DAVE RAMSEY’S GOT ME TWO STEPS FORWARD AND NOW I’LL HAVE TO TAKE ONE STEP BACK TO PAY FOR THIS WATER IN THE DRIVEWAY…. just UGH.

I squeal tires down the street, cranking up my ‘comfort food’ of Pandora stations, because music has a dramatic effect on my mood, always, and this morning’s mood called for some gritty, twangy music with a Red Dirt attitude and only Charlie Robison could meet those needs today.

Halfway to Susie’s school, Charlie’s singing about his hometown, my nerves are calming, slightly, and I realize Susie’s forgotten her birthday party invitations, THE ONES I SPECIFICALLY TOLD HER TO PUT IN HER BACK PACK LAST NIGHT. DID I NOT? TELL YOU? TO PUT THOSE? IN YOUR BACKPACK? LAST? NIGHT? I asked her, in all caps.

And then Annie shrieks, OH NO!!!!! I FORGOT MY ID!!!! TURN AROUND! I CAN’T GO TO SCHOOL WITHOUT IT!

And SOMEONE, who was ALREADY annoyed about the bickering and the running late and the WATER IN THE DRIVWAY almost blows a gasket.

SOMEONE started to sternly lecture about how I WORK FULL TIME AND I HAVE A FULL DAY AND I CANNOT. CANNOT!! BE DRIVING CIRCLES AROUND TYLER ALL DANG DAY LONG TO BRING YOU THINGS THAT YOUUUUUUUUU FORGOT…..

And the Holy Spirit reminded me…

Patient and kind. Patient and kind. Patient and kind.

They’re kids.

Just kids.

Be patient and kind with them because they’re kids, and they do kid things.

And I decided to just be quiet. Quiet, but there was tension. We all felt it.

And that’s when Roger Creager started singing about Everclear and tequila and beer and leaving sweet Miss Sherrie-Ann in the yard and whatnot, and I had JUST decided MAYBE I should change to maybe, you know, Lauren Daigle or something, when Annie says,

Oh, THAT’S a real good song for 8am….

I laughed. Annie laughed.

And that’s when poor little Susie in the back seat lost it.

YOU CAN FORGIVE ANNIE BUT YOU CAN’T FORGIVE ME!! YOU CAN’T FORGIVE ME FOR ONE WHOLE YEAR!!!

Unbeknownst to me, Susie had been beating herself up in the backseat for forgetting her birthday party invitations.

I had to tell her that it was ok.

We all forget things sometimes. Sheesh, I forget one thing per hour. That’s 24 forgotten things a day. Nine thousand a year.

I assured her I would be able to bring her party invitations to school later.

And I’m not mad.

It’s a work in progress, this patient and kind thing.

My kids need me to be a patient and kind mama, and God seems to be giving me lots of tests lately to prove I can handle that.

And MAYBE… if the mama is more patient and kind, the kids will learn to treat each other better in the mornings before school.

I’m working on it.

Recent Posts

  • Pretty
  • Hiding
  • Seen
  • Some Humans are Crap
  • Let Mercy Lead

Reader Interactions


Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

BEST EMAILS EVER

Don't worry, your email is safe with me.

About Me

Hi, I'm Melissa! Texas Girl. Single Mom. Old house fanatic. Welcome to my corner of the internet! I hope to bring you all my deep thoughts about life, Jesus, health and happiness, and decorating my little home without breaking the bank. I will try my best to make you laugh. Or cry... but only for a minute or two. We'll see how it goes. Anyhoo, thanks for being here!! Follow me on Instagram (link below) to keep up with my daily stories. And be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a post.

Follow Me On:

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Snapchat
  • StumbleUpon
  • Twitter

Follow Me on Instagram!

I love Saturday. 💕 Saturday’s my favorite. 😁 Projects going down today, starting with three gallons of white paint from @sherwinwilliams. What in the world should I paint first? 🤔 What’s happening at YOUR house today?
Snow in East Texas. It’s a big deal. ❄️ Snow in East Texas. It’s a big deal. ❄️
It’s a beautiful day if you’re solar powered ☀️ like me. It’s also a beautiful day for napping in the sun ☀️ if you’re like @sophiejunethedoodle. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I feel SO fortunate to get to work from home where I can sit by a window and even open it when the weather is right 👌🏻 even tho I can hear #goldendoodle snores from my home office... 🤔 Working from home has been on my #visionboard for years and it finally happened. 👏🏻What’s on YOUR vision board for 2021? 👉🏻Answer my poll in my stories! 👈🏻 #theresnoplacelikehome #workfromhomelife #iloveworkingfromhome
The whole Christmas 🎄 story, in these lyrics ri The whole Christmas 🎄 story, in these lyrics right here. I believe every word is true. After church this morning I decided these words needed to be added to my chalk wall. 👉🏻 In the darkness we were waiting
Without hope without light
Till from heaven You came running
There was mercy in Your eyes
To fulfil the law and prophets

To a virgin came the Word
From a throne of endless glory
To a cradle in the dirt

Praise the Father
Praise the Son
Praise the Spirit three in one
God of glory
Majesty
Praise forever to the King of Kings

To reveal the kingdom coming
And to reconcile the lost
To redeem the whole creation
You did not despise the cross

For even in Your suffering
You saw to the other side
Knowing this was our salvation
Jesus for our sake You died

And the morning that You rose
All of heaven held its breath
Till that stone was moved for good
For the Lamb had conquered death

And the dead rose from their tombs
And the angels stood in awe
For the souls of all who’d come
To the Father are restored

And the Church of Christ was born
Then the Spirit lit the flame
Now this gospel truth of old
Shall not kneel shall not faint

By His blood and in His Name
In His freedom I am free
For the love of Jesus Christ
Who has resurrected me
HaPPy NeW YeaR! 🎉 Is today the day we throw out HaPPy NeW YeaR! 🎉 Is today the day we throw out the cat houses made of all the Christmas boxes and blue tape, or do we have to wait for epiphany? 🤔 Wishing you ALL the blessings of a brand new year! 👏🏻 May the Lord crown the year with bounty so that even the wagon tracks overflow with abundance. Psalm 65:11 🌱
Instagram post 17875671470084040 Instagram post 17875671470084040
My top nine pics of 2020. 🤷🏼‍♀️ These My top nine pics of 2020. 🤷🏼‍♀️ These all make me happy to look at ~ I do love this little home we have ~ but none of these represent my top moments of 2020, which would be memories I made with the people I love the most. 💕 It’s been a year of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but still, the person I am at the end of 2020 is better than who I was back in January in so many ways. Lots of lessons learned. Lots of figuring out what I want and what I don’t and who I wanna be and who I need around me. Can’t wait to see what 2021 holds but I know for sure there will be love and grace and mercy and peace. #topnine #topnine2020 #theyearinreview
Follow on Instagram

Search

Join Me On Pinterest

PAST DEEP THOUGHTS

Find the Blue House on Instagram!

I love Saturday. 💕 Saturday’s my favorite. 😁 Projects going down today, starting with three gallons of white paint from @sherwinwilliams. What in the world should I paint first? 🤔 What’s happening at YOUR house today?
Snow in East Texas. It’s a big deal. ❄️ Snow in East Texas. It’s a big deal. ❄️
It’s a beautiful day if you’re solar powered ☀️ like me. It’s also a beautiful day for napping in the sun ☀️ if you’re like @sophiejunethedoodle. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I feel SO fortunate to get to work from home where I can sit by a window and even open it when the weather is right 👌🏻 even tho I can hear #goldendoodle snores from my home office... 🤔 Working from home has been on my #visionboard for years and it finally happened. 👏🏻What’s on YOUR vision board for 2021? 👉🏻Answer my poll in my stories! 👈🏻 #theresnoplacelikehome #workfromhomelife #iloveworkingfromhome
The whole Christmas 🎄 story, in these lyrics ri The whole Christmas 🎄 story, in these lyrics right here. I believe every word is true. After church this morning I decided these words needed to be added to my chalk wall. 👉🏻 In the darkness we were waiting
Without hope without light
Till from heaven You came running
There was mercy in Your eyes
To fulfil the law and prophets

To a virgin came the Word
From a throne of endless glory
To a cradle in the dirt

Praise the Father
Praise the Son
Praise the Spirit three in one
God of glory
Majesty
Praise forever to the King of Kings

To reveal the kingdom coming
And to reconcile the lost
To redeem the whole creation
You did not despise the cross

For even in Your suffering
You saw to the other side
Knowing this was our salvation
Jesus for our sake You died

And the morning that You rose
All of heaven held its breath
Till that stone was moved for good
For the Lamb had conquered death

And the dead rose from their tombs
And the angels stood in awe
For the souls of all who’d come
To the Father are restored

And the Church of Christ was born
Then the Spirit lit the flame
Now this gospel truth of old
Shall not kneel shall not faint

By His blood and in His Name
In His freedom I am free
For the love of Jesus Christ
Who has resurrected me
HaPPy NeW YeaR! 🎉 Is today the day we throw out HaPPy NeW YeaR! 🎉 Is today the day we throw out the cat houses made of all the Christmas boxes and blue tape, or do we have to wait for epiphany? 🤔 Wishing you ALL the blessings of a brand new year! 👏🏻 May the Lord crown the year with bounty so that even the wagon tracks overflow with abundance. Psalm 65:11 🌱
Instagram post 17875671470084040 Instagram post 17875671470084040
My top nine pics of 2020. 🤷🏼‍♀️ These My top nine pics of 2020. 🤷🏼‍♀️ These all make me happy to look at ~ I do love this little home we have ~ but none of these represent my top moments of 2020, which would be memories I made with the people I love the most. 💕 It’s been a year of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but still, the person I am at the end of 2020 is better than who I was back in January in so many ways. Lots of lessons learned. Lots of figuring out what I want and what I don’t and who I wanna be and who I need around me. Can’t wait to see what 2021 holds but I know for sure there will be love and grace and mercy and peace. #topnine #topnine2020 #theyearinreview
Follow on Instagram

Footer

Social

  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

BEST EMAILS EVER

Want to be the first to get all of my new posts? Then don't waste another second! Sign up already! All of your dreams may or may not come true!

Don't worry, nobody is sharing your email address.

Search

BEST EMAILS EVER

Want to be the first to get all of my new posts? Then don't waste another second! Sign up already! All of your dreams may or may not come true!

Copyright © 2021 · The Blue House Blog - Designed by That Pretty Face