Yep. I haven’t talked about it in months, because we’re at THAT stage in the remodeling process.
If you’ve ever bought a project house, you know what I’m talking about… the point where the heart-pumping thrill of starting something new is long gone, but you’re still SO much blood, sweat, and tears away from where you want to be.
It just so happens that it’s also that point immediately after you’ve spent all your money, and yet from the curb your house still looks pretty dang shabby BECAUSE YOU HAD TO SPEND YOUR MONEY ON THE DUMB STUFF THAT’S HIDDEN INSIDE THE WALLS.
Not only do I hate spending money on anything at Lowe’s that occupies the shelves beyond the lighting aisle (when I still need so much attractive lighting), but I can’t even pin those projects on Pinterest, because who even wants to see that? And if I can’t pin it on Pinterest, sometimes I wonder what’s the POINT of even doing this nonsense?
Because in remodeling, like in every great undertaking, I want results NOW. Pinnable results. I want the big SHAZAM of a dramatic HGTV reveal at the end of a 30-minute episode. I want the extra weight to dissolve after one workout. I want my retirement account fully funded by a winning lottery ticket. I want my children to be Godly and mature and always make wise decisions at all times, after a training session or two. And while we’re at it, I want a new car, dangit, because there’s not ONE THING that’s sexy about a 10-year-old minivan in my driveway.
But instead, SO MUCH in my life is just what you see in that picture above: Those are my very own hands, worn and weary and worked to the bone by all the DUMB, TEDIOUS, BORING projects that HAVE to be done. Projects like scraping the infernal insulating film off of the windows. I hate that dumb film. Even on its best day, that film is UGLY STUFF, but let it bake in the sun for several decades and THAT’S what I’m dealing with. It’s ugly, it’s old, it’s shabby. It’s not what I want. It’s not what I envisioned when I first walked through this house with my remodeling goggles on and saw only the potential.
What I’d LOVE to do is replace all the windows RIGHT NOW (along with an entire Curb Appeal makeover, all while being filmed by an HGTV camera crew). They NEED to be replaced; they’re GOING to be replaced in the proper time. Just not NOW.
And so I scrape.
For hours now.
I’ll scrape a little, then come back a day later and work a little more at it.
Like the extra weight I want to lose… one insignificant 30-minute workout. And then hauling myself out of bed the next day and doing it again. Getting up early, and getting up early again, and scraping away at it.
And the retirement fund… making one seemingly-insignificant choice to save rather than spend. Foregoing Starbucks, foregoing Sonic happy hour, foregoing that new car. Scraping, scraping, scraping away at it.
And just like training my children… repeating for the 172,000th time to treat your sister like you want to be treated… be a blessing and not a burden… and your shoes belong upstairs, not ON the stairs. Repeating. Repeating. Repeating. And praying for patience and diligence to carry on when it’s tedious and the lack of visible progress makes me want to give up.
Something tells me there’s a lesson to be learned in all this tedious scraping away toward my goal, and some character qualities God wants to grow in me one tedious project at a time.
He did tell us to consider the ant and be wise, after all, and that’s exactly the verse that came to mind the other day as I was scraping, scraping, scraping at this window and getting frustrated that I wasn’t getting ANYWHERE closer making this house beautiful.
Have you ever SEEN the magnificent underground structures a bunch of tiny ants can create? I’m in AWE of it. And to think…. they build what they build ONE GRAIN OF DIRT AT A TIME.
Daily disciplines multiplied over time create massive success.
And one day, someday in the future, I’ll be able to look back and appreciate the results of my labors. I’ll see this beautiful HGTV-worthy home and forget the painstaking hours I spent scraping windows. I’ll go shopping for skinnier jeans…. and Dave Ramsey won’t frown at me for doing so, because of all those times I saved and didn’t spend. And my heart will absolutely swell with pride when I see the Godly, mature, wise adults my children grew into.
But for now, I have some scraping to do.
And you better believe I’ll post some pictures on Pinterest when I’m done.
If you liked this post PLEASE share it with your friends! ~ Melissa Beene Taylor