• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

The Blue House Blog

believer | creating a home of peace, health, abundance and beauty | laughing a lot

  • Home
  • About
    • About
    • Truth
    • Contact Me
  • Recipes
    • Trim Healthy Mama
    • Nourishing Traditions
  • My Home
    • Remodeling
    • Before and After
  • The Fine Print
    • Disclosure
    • Privacy
    • Media
  • Shop

A Case of the Mondays.

Melissa Beene Ford/ Annie+ tumor

Today I’m in a huge funk.

I’m not usually one to get in a funk; I get irritated, annoyed, sad if there’s a reason for it, but usually get over it quickly.

Happy is my default. Maybe not deliriously, gloriously joyful, but basically I’m pretty content most of the time.

I’m not one to mope and it takes a LOT for me to get to the point where I wish a bad case of the flu upon myself just so I can go to bed for a week.

That’s just not me.

And yet here I am….wishing I could have the flu, go to bed in a dark room, and pull the covers over my head for a week or so.

I think its because the date of Annie’s next MRI is bearing down upon me; I flipped my calendar to August and there it was: August 13th. 9:00 am. How did 90 days go by so quickly?

I wonder, again, if we’ve made the right decision to wait and pray rather than scheduling surgery?

And then I remember quickly that it wouldn’t matter if we had the surgery or not, “MRIs will be a part of Annie’s life for years to come,” per her brain surgeon.

And I’m sure as the date of each MRI approaches, surgery or not, I would experience this same gut-wrenching anxiety as I torment myself with the same questions over and over again like I’m doing right now: Is the tumor still there? Has it grown? Has it spread? Will it have fingers or tentacles this time? Maybe there are others this time?

And so on.

And I wonder what’s wrong with me?

Why am I doubting?

I have spent the last 80 days praying for God to heal Annie, and I totally believe that HE CAN.

I totally believe that HEALING IS GOD’S WILL.

I totally believe that HEALING IS GOD’S WILL FOR ANNIE.*

*One of these days I’ll post all the Scriptures that have led me to believe that this is true.

And then I wonder if I prayed enough. If I fasted enough. If I had enough faith. If I fed her enough of the good stuff and cut out enough of the bad stuff. Because what if I missed some crucial step along the way….

One thing I know is that life on this earth is hard. But one day we’ll exchange these old flimsy, diseased, decaying tents we call bodies for flawless, permanent ones that don’t break down or wear out.

And I can’t wait for that day.

There won’t be any brain tumors in heaven.

There won’t be any flu in heaven.

But if I could just catch a tiny little case of it right now that would be great…

Click on search label tumor to read all of Annie’s story.

Recent Posts

  • Ask
  • Two Natural Ways to Cope with Grief
  • Covers Over
  • God vs Earthly Parents
  • For they are ever with me

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. 3 for Me! says

    August 4, 2009 at 2:18 am

    Thank you for your "Sneak" comment today on my post. I can't imagine the struggle you are going through and I have been praying for Annie and will continue to pray for ALL of you.

    Reply
  2. Em says

    August 4, 2009 at 11:44 am

    Still praying for y&#39;all. I had one of those Mondays, too (thus my comment of FB last night). Hugs to you, and may today be better!<br />Em

    Reply
  3. Lianne says

    August 4, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    I will start praying about that MRI today. I am thankful for that technology that can provide peace of mind and gives a less invasive approach. I trust that God will give you peace over the situation. Know that He is in control. God bless y&#39;all!

    Reply
  4. Steph @Red Clay Diaries says

    August 5, 2009 at 2:43 am

    Melissa,<br /><br />That was gut-wrenching. Thank you for sharing it with such honesty. <br /><br />May God give you peace. And heal your little girl.

    Reply
  5. Anette Acker says

    August 8, 2009 at 2:57 am

    Melissa,<br /><br />My heart goes out to you! I&#39;m praying that God will give you peace and heal Annie. I&#39;ve been through something similar with my daughter, so I understand the struggle. <br /><br />You said in an earlier post that you were looking for literature on divine healing. You might find Christ the Healer by F.F. Bosworth and Divine Healing by Andrew Murray helpful.<br /><br />

    Reply
  6. Jane says

    August 10, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    I have just almost finished re reading Matthew for I do not know how many times over, but all that stood out each night was that it seemed Jesus did nothing wherever He went but heal.<br />Even on what we call Psalm Sunday he stopped to heal. It has just hit me and hit me over again…….and I keep thinking but did He tell us anywhere that He was going to stop doing this.<br />So while I want

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Let’s Connect!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

About Me


Hey there... I'm Melissa! Texas girl. Mom to three + one goldendoodle. Believer. Old house fanatic. Creating a happy + healthy home with purpose is my passion. I'm so glad you're here!

Be sure to subscribe to emails so you don't miss a post!

Search for Something

ARCHIVES

I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 years of paint off of this door down to the wood and start over… but that person has no business starting new projects. 😅 My neighbors must have thought this project would never end. *I* thought this project would never end. 😰 If you’re thinking of doing this yourself? Just don’t, ok? Throw the whole door away and buy a new one. 😂🤣 Just kidding.  Old house weirdos like me… we can’t just do things the easy way. Anyhoo… after some trial and error, @sherwinwilliams Celestial is what I landed on, and I have to say… I like it. Periwinkle-ish blue looks great with the yellow house and will look even better when the azaleas are in bloom. Was it all worth it? That’s not important right now. 🤭 Will I do this all again in two years? The magic eight ball says… without a doubt. 👏🏻 I’ve already picked the next color. #gluttonforpunishment #somefoolsneverlearn #oldhouselove #oldhomelove #makinghome #southernliving #gardenandgun #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in an 80-year-old house completely worth it … what broken pipes, icy hardwood floors and drafty windows? 🤔 I forgot already. #comeonspring #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Happy Saturday ☀️ Happy Saturday ☀️
Salt Lake City is always magical ✨ Salt Lake City is always magical ✨
2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrollin 2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrolling through my pics from the last twelve months made me realize how blessed and content I am. Prosperity, love, and peace have been ours in abundance, in spite of the pain of losing my dad. The second picture is the last picture of him… the last time I saw him. 💔 But God has been good to my family this year and 2022 is ending far better than it began. 😄 #2022inreview #thanksforthememories
Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍ Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍♀️
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That’s it. That’s the tour. (Slide two). 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s a new trend I’m starting: bare Christmas tree. Lowe’s tag still attached (so quirky and unexpected)! Christmas ornaments still in boxes. Coming soon to an Anthropologie window display near you. 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Every year I think, “next year I’ll do better. Next year I’ll have it together.” And then, here we are on the SIXTH Christmas that we’ve been in this house, the sixth Christmas I’ve dragged our chaotic bunch of Christmas mess out of a chaotic garage I still haven’t unpacked from our move six years ago. 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Maybe this year is the year I’ll organize it all and put it back neatly so that by Christmas number 7, it will be smooth sailing. People will flock to my social media to see how I’ve pulled everything off SO PERFECTLY. Next year will be my year. 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Seems every year there’s less and less bandwidth for all these things. There’s more grief and stress, less money. More demands, less grace. 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I put this sign on the wall in my office so I could keep it in front of my eyes: Love. Joy. Peace. And all that. I am SO unlike Jesus most days. So lacking in all of these character qualities. And that’s WITH waking up most mornings and spending my first 30 minutes with God Himself. 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How lost would I be without that? Geez. I can’t fathom. I REQUIRE being transformed by renewing my mind every single morning, and even then, responding to people and life with love, joy, peace and patience doesn’t come naturally. 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s the goal, though. 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This weary world needs that from us Believers during this season, more than ever… even more than an Anthropologie-window-display worthy Christmas home tour. 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’m working on both.
Instagram post 18046618504353300 Instagram post 18046618504353300
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2023 · Ella Theme by Code + Coconut