A Light to Steer By.

Many years ago I read a book about missionary Jim Elliot written by his widow, Elisabeth, and a quote from that book has been stuck in my head ever since:

If we are to find the channel and the harbor, surely we need some lights to steer by.

Elisabeth was talking about our need for heroes, for people to model our lives after. Jim Elliot has always been one of my heroes, and so has Elisabeth, for that matter. And Billy and Ruth Graham, and my parents, and Rayla Stiles…. all people I admire hugely and in one way or another, I want to be like. They are all lights that I intend to steer my life by.

And my grandmother was another one. Today would have been her 96th birthday, but she passed away December 28th. She was almost 96, but she was the youngest, healthiest almost-96-year-old ever, until suddenly she wasn’t. And what a huge space she’s left here on this earth.

Grandma and my dad, 1946-47-ish

Grandma was always one of my favorite people. As a kid I loved going to her house. Her house was always clean, warm, welcoming and cheerful, and she’d always meet us at the back door with a big hug. 

She was always, always happy; always smiling and laughing. I never heard her yell, never heard her say unkind words, never heard her gossip. I never saw her without her makeup on; she was always put together. 

And I want to be like that.

But it wasn’t until I grew up that she became one of my heroes. I went to grad school two nights a week in her town, about 60 miles from my own, and so after class, I’d stop by her house and visit with her and sometimes spend the night, and we talked like grown-ups and she told me lots of stories I didn’t know about my grandfather (the super-handsome Gregory Peck lookalike in the photo above, who died in 1947), and about raising her three children as a widow back in the 1940s.

Looking fabulous to have twin babies this small, 1944. One of the few pictures of my grandfather.

When her husband, my grandfather, died back in 1947, she had a six-year-old little girl and twin three-year-old boys. I’ve been a single mom, and I can’t imagine the strength required to be a single mom to three tiny children while grieving the loss of the man you loved… with three tiny children who are grieving for their dad also.

Sadness.

On our post-grad-school visits, she’d tell me how she made sure she kept her kids in church every time the doors were open, and made sure her boys had Godly men at the church for role models. She had to work a lot and leave her kids often, but she did the best she could do. And sixty-plus years later, we’ve all turned out ok.

Her funeral was a packed house. I’ve never seen so many people show up for a funeral, particularly for a 96-year-old. And that was because of the lives that she touched during her years on this earth. 

At last count she had logged over 25,000 volunteer hours at Nacogdoches Memorial Hospital. At 95 years old, she was still there, volunteering, two days a week. All the pink ladies {it seemed like hundreds} showed up at her funeral wearing their pink volunteer jackets, and spoke of how her smile and happy attitude was legendary.

At my cousin Katie’s wedding.

Volunteering was her joy, and she spent decades faithfully serving as a Sunday School Teacher at First Baptist Nacogdoches, where she had been a member since 1947.  She had phenomenal musical talent and used her gift for playing the piano for her Sunday School children as well as Nursing Home Residents.

playing the piano at my house She was always busy, always doing things for other people. And I want to be more like that.

With her twin boys.

Grandma’s other great love was flowers, and she had quite a gift for growing roses. She was well-known for her gorgeous rose garden which people came from miles around to view, and because of her tremendous skill at growing roses, rose companies would send her new varieties of roses to test in her own garden. 

Grandma and my dad.

She used her roses as a ministry to bring joy to countless hospital patients and nursing home residents, using her gifts to bless as many hurting people as possible with the gift of a small bouquet from her rose garden. She also made sure that the church altar flowers were put to good use, and delivered those flowers to people in need of some cheer.