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A Light to Steer By.

Melissa Beene Ford/ Uncategorized

Many years ago I read a book about missionary Jim Elliot written by his widow, Elisabeth, and a quote from that book has been stuck in my head ever since:

If we are to find the channel and the harbor, surely we need some lights to steer by.


Elisabeth was talking about our need for heroes, for people to model our lives after. Jim Elliot has always been one of my heroes, and so has Elisabeth, for that matter. And Billy and Ruth Graham, and my parents, and Rayla Stiles…. all people I admire hugely and in one way or another, I want to be like. They are all lights that I intend to steer my life by.

And my grandmother was another one. Today would have been her 96th birthday, but she passed away December 28th. She was almost 96, but she was the youngest, healthiest almost-96-year-old ever, until suddenly she wasn’t. And what a huge space she’s left here on this earth.

Grandma and my dad, 1946-47-ish

Grandma was always one of my favorite people. As a kid I loved going to her house. Her house was always clean, warm, welcoming and cheerful, and she’d always meet us at the back door with a big hug. 

She was always, always happy; always smiling and laughing. I never heard her yell, never heard her say unkind words, never heard her gossip. I never saw her without her makeup on; she was always put together. 

And I want to be like that.

But it wasn’t until I grew up that she became one of my heroes. I went to grad school two nights a week in her town, about 60 miles from my own, and so after class, I’d stop by her house and visit with her and sometimes spend the night, and we talked like grown-ups and she told me lots of stories I didn’t know about my grandfather (the super-handsome Gregory Peck lookalike in the photo above, who died in 1947), and about raising her three children as a widow back in the 1940s.

Looking fabulous to have twin babies this small, 1944. One of the few pictures of my grandfather.



When her husband, my grandfather, died back in 1947, she had a six-year-old little girl and twin three-year-old boys. I’ve been a single mom, and I can’t imagine the strength required to be a single mom to three tiny children while grieving the loss of the man you loved… with three tiny children who are grieving for their dad also.

Sadness.


On our post-grad-school visits, she’d tell me how she made sure she kept her kids in church every time the doors were open, and made sure her boys had Godly men at the church for role models. She had to work a lot and leave her kids often, but she did the best she could do. And sixty-plus years later, we’ve all turned out ok.

Her funeral was a packed house. I’ve never seen so many people show up for a funeral, particularly for a 96-year-old. And that was because of the lives that she touched during her years on this earth. 

At last count she had logged over 25,000 volunteer hours at Nacogdoches Memorial Hospital. At 95 years old, she was still there, volunteering, two days a week. All the pink ladies {it seemed like hundreds} showed up at her funeral wearing their pink volunteer jackets, and spoke of how her smile and happy attitude was legendary.

At my cousin Katie’s wedding.

Volunteering was her joy, and she spent decades faithfully serving as a Sunday School Teacher at First Baptist Nacogdoches, where she had been a member since 1947.  She had phenomenal musical talent and used her gift for playing the piano for her Sunday School children as well as Nursing Home Residents.

playing the piano at my house

She was always busy, always doing things for other people. And I want to be more like that.


With her twin boys.

Grandma’s other great love was flowers, and she had quite a gift for growing roses. She was well-known for her gorgeous rose garden which people came from miles around to view, and because of her tremendous skill at growing roses, rose companies would send her new varieties of roses to test in her own garden. 

Grandma and my dad.

She used her roses as a ministry to bring joy to countless hospital patients and nursing home residents, using her gifts to bless as many hurting people as possible with the gift of a small bouquet from her rose garden. She also made sure that the church altar flowers were put to good use, and delivered those flowers to people in need of some cheer.

Still strikingly pretty in her nineties.

Her death has left a huge empty space on this earth, but I am certain there was great rejoicing in Heaven upon her arrival. She left an enormous legacy in her 95 years not only among her three children, nine grandchildren, and twenty-three great-grandchildren who have all been raised to know and love the Lord because of her teaching and her example, but among those countless children she taught in Sunday School, the thousands whom she led in worship on the piano, and the countless thousands she blessed through her flower ministry through the decades.

with my girls.

I am so sad about her death. I’ve cried for two months. But I can’t help but rejoice that she was finally reunited with my grandfather. She missed him so terribly.


And it thrills me to picture her being welcomed Home by so many loved ones who went on before her. Leon and Marie. Truce. All of her brothers and sister. Clayton. All of those to whom she spent her life ministering.


But most of all, it makes me happy that she’s experienced the unspeakable joy of meeting Jesus face to face, the One to whom she so faithfully dedicated all of her days. 


Happy Birthday, Grandma.


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Hey there... I'm Melissa! Texas girl. Mom to three + one goldendoodle. Believer. Old house fanatic. Creating a happy + healthy home with purpose is my passion. I'm so glad you're here!

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I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 years of paint off of this door down to the wood and start over… but that person has no business starting new projects. 😅 My neighbors must have thought this project would never end. *I* thought this project would never end. 😰 If you’re thinking of doing this yourself? Just don’t, ok? Throw the whole door away and buy a new one. 😂🤣 Just kidding.  Old house weirdos like me… we can’t just do things the easy way. Anyhoo… after some trial and error, @sherwinwilliams Celestial is what I landed on, and I have to say… I like it. Periwinkle-ish blue looks great with the yellow house and will look even better when the azaleas are in bloom. Was it all worth it? That’s not important right now. 🤭 Will I do this all again in two years? The magic eight ball says… without a doubt. 👏🏻 I’ve already picked the next color. #gluttonforpunishment #somefoolsneverlearn #oldhouselove #oldhomelove #makinghome #southernliving #gardenandgun #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in an 80-year-old house completely worth it … what broken pipes, icy hardwood floors and drafty windows? 🤔 I forgot already. #comeonspring #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Happy Saturday ☀️ Happy Saturday ☀️
Salt Lake City is always magical ✨ Salt Lake City is always magical ✨
2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrollin 2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrolling through my pics from the last twelve months made me realize how blessed and content I am. Prosperity, love, and peace have been ours in abundance, in spite of the pain of losing my dad. The second picture is the last picture of him… the last time I saw him. 💔 But God has been good to my family this year and 2022 is ending far better than it began. 😄 #2022inreview #thanksforthememories
Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍ Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍♀️
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That’s it. That’s the tour. (Slide two). 
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It’s a new trend I’m starting: bare Christmas tree. Lowe’s tag still attached (so quirky and unexpected)! Christmas ornaments still in boxes. Coming soon to an Anthropologie window display near you. 
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Every year I think, “next year I’ll do better. Next year I’ll have it together.” And then, here we are on the SIXTH Christmas that we’ve been in this house, the sixth Christmas I’ve dragged our chaotic bunch of Christmas mess out of a chaotic garage I still haven’t unpacked from our move six years ago. 
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Maybe this year is the year I’ll organize it all and put it back neatly so that by Christmas number 7, it will be smooth sailing. People will flock to my social media to see how I’ve pulled everything off SO PERFECTLY. Next year will be my year. 
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Seems every year there’s less and less bandwidth for all these things. There’s more grief and stress, less money. More demands, less grace. 
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I put this sign on the wall in my office so I could keep it in front of my eyes: Love. Joy. Peace. And all that. I am SO unlike Jesus most days. So lacking in all of these character qualities. And that’s WITH waking up most mornings and spending my first 30 minutes with God Himself. 
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How lost would I be without that? Geez. I can’t fathom. I REQUIRE being transformed by renewing my mind every single morning, and even then, responding to people and life with love, joy, peace and patience doesn’t come naturally. 
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It’s the goal, though. 
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This weary world needs that from us Believers during this season, more than ever… even more than an Anthropologie-window-display worthy Christmas home tour. 
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I’m working on both.
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