And That’s How I Know God Loves Me.

I arrived at work today feeling just beaten.

Defeated.

Hit by a truck.

The fact is, I have an enemy who wants to steal, kill, and destroy, and though I hate to admit it…. sometimes it feels like he might just get the best of me.

I’ll be honest… I bawled my eyes out the whole 30 mile drive to work today. This isn’t what I pictured for myself, these circumstances I have found myself in…

I arrived at my office, my eyelids puffy, my makeup streaked and my head already throbbing, to find my desk overflowing with mounds of work undone and overdue, more work than three of me could possibly handle… and I wanted to crawl under my desk and close my eyes and just be catatonic for a while.

But God always sends me comfort and strength when I need it.

Today it was in the form of my dear, sweet, amazing coworker from across the hall who came in the minute I got to work to speak some words of truth that were healing for my soul.

I don’t know how she knew I needed to hear it, but she encouraged me that this is a storm… and storms pass. While you’re in it, you feel like it will last forever, but all storms pass.

She told me her salvation story and some trials she had undergone that she never thought she would survive, until she looked back and realized that the storm had passed and she had made it through.

She assured me that no weapon formed against me would prosper; the Bible doesn’t say weapons won’t be formed, but that they won’t prosper. We talked for thirty minutes or more about storms and trials, strength and faith, and I knew that God had sent her my way when I needed her most, and suddenly I remembered that I love this job… I love this place… and I thanked God for letting me be here during this past turbulent year.

And then my boss came in and told me he felt led to pray for me today after I had texted him this morning to remind him that I’d be late to work, and why. And he did! He prayed a lengthy prayer for me, for my enemy, my kids, for forgiveness, justice, and peace, and then we talked and I felt so incredibly encouraged by the things he had to say about God, and about me. And at peace. Complete peace that it will all be ok. And again, grateful that God put me here in this job with these amazing people.

I remembered the post-it note my mom had stuck to my steering wheel this morning when I dropped my kids off, so I got it out of my purse and tacked it to my office wall. It reads:

Don’t be upset; it only leads to trouble. Evil people will be sent away, but those that trust in the Lord will inherit the land. Psalm 37:8-9

My dad, who only has the wisest words to say, sat beside me at the courthouse this morning, reminding me that I’m God’s child and that God doesn’t let attacks against His children go unnoticed.

God, you were awfully good to me to give me these two parents…

And that’s not all. An email from a person I love dearly letting me know he was praying for me today. Facebook messages from several people letting me know they were praying. A couple of ‘praying’ texts from my friends and my sister.

I know I’m a hyper-sensitive person. I cry easily. I can’t handle having enemies. Cattiness directed at me disturbs me horribly, because I want to be liked. Critical words from ANYONE crush me, because I want to do everything the right way.

Sensitivity makes me a good social worker, but bad at fighting battles.

But just when I think I might collapse under the pressure of it all, God always, always, surrounds me by people who give me comfort and strength when I need it most.

And that’s how I know God loves me.