I had so much fun listing my annoyances last week that I think the topic just BEGS to be a weekly blog post.

It was therapeutic, ya know?

I put it all out there, and got it off my chest. Moved on. Got over it.

Venting is a good thing sometimes.

So here goes…. my grievances for this week, beginning with:

5. The Middle-of-the-Night Text Message.

IF you WANT to make my blood boil, WAKE ME UP IN THE NIGHT.

For no good reason.

I have one phone, and its my cell. I don’t turn it off, because God forbid my frail, elderly parents might need to reach me in the night and couldn’t. They’re getting to that age, you know….

Is it just me, or do the middle-of-the-night texts and/or phone calls ONLY MEAN SOME SORT OF TRAGEDY?

If you think you need to text me at midnight to tell me that you made a coconut pie, please just don’t. If you think you need to text me at 4:30 am to tell me about your kid’s birthday party, please just don’t. Here’s an idea…. send me an email about it instead.

Because my phone dings and jolts me out of a deep sleep, and my adrenal glands run to “SOMEONE I LOVE IS IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM!!!” and shift into overdrive accordingly.

Its an instantaneous case of Red Bull to my nerves. And I never, ever go back to sleep after that. Which makes me a lil’ irritable and slow-functioning the next day…

Let me just go ahead and spell out some texting etiquette, in case your momma didn’t teach you any manners: a good rule of thumb would be no texts or phone calls between 10pm to 7am unless its an emergency.

And like I tell my children, the definition of ’emergency’ is if you are bleeding or on fire or if a Bad Man is trying to get into our house, aka the ONLY acceptable reasons to bother me when I’m in the bathtub. Same should apply here.

Thank you.

4. Lies.

Lies just really irritate me. And I don’t mean the ‘Yes, I DO love what you’re wearing…” sort of lies that really don’t amount to much in the grand scheme of things.

I mean, the lies that are meant to cover up something that would really, truly cause devastation and permanent scarring to another person should they find out the truth.

A lifestyle built on deceit… THAT is what I have a problem with.

Lest I be a complete hypocrite, I do have to fess up that I, myself, have lied before. I know this comes as a tremendous shock to you, but in my defense, haven’t we all? But I LIKE to think that for every single lie I’ve told, I’ve confessed it and apologized profusely. And I can only think of a handful of times or less, literally, that I’ve lied in my adult years.

I hope that that’s the case, at least. I want to be characterized as a truth-teller.

And if someone point-blank asks me a question, I want to always be known for answering it truthfully. I couldn’t live with myself any other way. And having been on the receiving end of some pretty heinous lies, I can tell you…. nobody deserves that. Tell them the truth; they deserve it.

If for no other reason than the fact that all lies come from Satan. All of them. Think about who you’re serving when you tell one.

3. Miserable Marriages.

Ugh, this one is especially painful.

I just can’t stand to see two people who COULD BE perfectly HAPPY if they would just learn to compromise a little, sacrifice a little, and serve the other person a little, but their pride and selfishness keeps them trapped in misery.

And BE SWEET, BY GOSH!

From the outside looking in, it seems so simple… JUST STOP BEING SO SELFISH. IF ONE of them would STOP BEING SELFISH and think of the other person… just a little…

I mean… REALLY. Don’t you WANT TO BE HAPPY?? Don’t you want the OTHER PARTY TO BE HAPPY?? Just DO what you have to do to make that happen, PLEASE. BECAUSE YOU’RE ALSO MAKING EVERYONE AROUND YOU TENSE AND CRAZY.

More than enough marriages have bitten the dust already. Don’t let it happen to yours. Trust me. The cost is great.

2. People who take advantage of a good heart.

Those of us who work in the ‘caring professions’ find ourselves in this boat a lot. Nurses. Social workers. School teachers. WE do what we do because we like helping people.

For me especially, I have a thing for the weakest and sickest… sexually abused foster kids… the dirty, homeless schizophrenic… and medically fragile children. We all do, those of us who work in places like that, with people like that. I would do it for free. Any of us would.

And THEY KNOW THIS. They know we’ll keep working in spite of long hours, low pay, and mucous secretions. Because someone has to take care of the weak ones… and that’s what we’re called to do. They know that, and they take advantage of it.

And that’s just wrong.

This applies also to people who are so arrogant that they think they can be totally reckless with your heart, because you love them, after all. And they know you’ll put up with it. They know that you’ll forgive, in spite of you making your wishes clear 172 times then they do the OPPOSITE of that anyway, but its ok in their arrogant minds, because you’ll forgive.

And (they think) you’ll be back again and again because you’re stupid like that. They know how you feel, and they take advantage of it.

Its the lowest of low. And if you’re trapped in a relationship like that YOU’RE STUPID. They KNOW you’re stupid and they’re TREATING YOU LIKE YOU’RE STUPID.

Not that I would ever do something like that…

And last but not least,

1. The Ejector Seat breakup.

You know, doing something ON PURPOSE to make the other person upset enough to break up with you. You press the button, and magically you *eject* and float painlessly to the ground with the greatest of ease. Its the chicken way out, and spineless and cowardly.

If you WANT OUT, have the guts to just say so.

That’s all.

And those are my rants for this week.

What are yours?