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Freedom is Everything.

Melissa Beene Ford/ Uncategorized

You know, one of the biggest takeaways for me from seventeen years of enslavement in my own personal hell is that FREEDOM IS EVERYTHING.

Love is freedom, and Jesus is love, and therefore… Jesus is freedom.

Many stories in the Bible point toward how the OPPOSITE of Jesus is enslavement, literal and figurative, and every time there was enslavement, God’s goal was to release people from it. There was never a time that God’s people were enslaved that God did not send a rescue.

After being enslaved in hell for so long, I crave freedom.

I love this stage in my life where I can join a gym if I want to, or have a job, or go out with friends, or go out with friends and (gasp) DRINK ALCOHOL. I can have my own money, and do what I want to with it. Nobody is punishing me and taking away my car keys and debit card. Nobody is screaming at me if I leave my purse in the kitchen or a plate in the sink. Nobody is calling to check up on me every 30 minutes to make sure I’m where I’m supposed to be, or driving by the house to make sure I’m home.

Nobody controls me.

Oh, one of them still tries, but he does not succeed.

He needs to get a life.

Yes, I’m talking about YOU, psycho, since you and your new wife are so obsessed with me that you’re the first ones to read every blog post… hiiiiii! Thanks for driving up my blog traffic with your obsession!

Just FYI, THERE ARE WARNING SIGNS that the person you are marrying is gonna be a control freak who will STILL be obsessed with you, and stalking you, ten years post-divorce, but that’s the subject of another post. I’ll get to that.

Meanwhile, why does it seem like Christian marriages are designed to be the OPPOSITE of freedom? Enslavement is promoted, even. In an abusive marriage? I promise you, 99% of ‘Christian’ counselors will tell the wife to SUBMIT MORE. OBEY MORE. SUBMIT AND OBEY.

Oh, he hit you? Turn the other cheek. Pray more. Submit. Obey.

That kind of ‘advice’ is NEVER given in ANY other context or relationship outside of a ‘Christian’ marriage.

I’m not sure I would have valued my personal freedom had I not lived through that hell, though, to be honest.

I think I sought the security of a legalism and rigid rules and not having to think for myself.

I think being controlled by rules and religion felt safe.

I think, though, that control is progressive, and a man who isn’t much like Jesus will tend toward being controlling, and more controlling, and more controlling, until one day you realize that you’re stuck in hell with no access to money or car keys or any other way of escape from a man who walks in the door screaming at you and the kids every. single. day. for reasons you can neither predict nor prevent.

THANK GOD DIVORCE IS LEGAL IN THE USA.

That’s all I’m saying about that.

Living through that hell changed me and my priorities. I will always:

  • Vote for the candidate who offers the most personal liberty. Smaller government, less taxes, less restrictions on my freedom, no forced “healthcare,” will always get my vote.
  • Take the job that offers the most flexibility. I will always choose the one that lets me go on my kids’ field trips, and offers more work/life balance, even if it pays a little less.
  • Be in the relationship that lets me be me. I’m pretty dang loyal. You don’t have to drive by my house or check my phone. The first clue to me is if he gets irritated if I don’t text back fast enough. Yeah, he says he’s ‘just joking,’ but that’s the beginning stages of CONTROL, and that is the fastest way for me to squeal tires. I will never again put myself in a situation where I have to alienate my family or friends, or I can’t go out with my friends because he’ll get mad, or if I work out and get fit, or succeed in my business, he’ll start feeling insecure and threatened. No thank you.
  • Go to the church where I can dress how I want, drink what I want, worship how I want, and NOT be shamed into submitting to an abusive man. Enough said.
  • Use my money the way I want. Save if I want, give if I want, spend if I want, invest however I want, because I WORK and I can do with my money whatever the heck I want to. I will always be free to tithe and avoid debt and never again be plunged into financial stress because of someone else’s poor choices.
  • Live with less so I can be tied down to less. Marie Kondo is my hero, and minimalism is the goal.

Freedom is everything. Everything. Everything.

And every decision I make is the one that brings me closer to freedom.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    August 9, 2019 at 9:19 pm

    Bahahahaaha. Delusional. Going to be single cause nobody wants you

    Reply

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About Me


Hey there... I'm Melissa! Texas girl. Mom to three + one goldendoodle. Believer. Old house fanatic. Creating a happy + healthy home with purpose is my passion. I'm so glad you're here!

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I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 years of paint off of this door down to the wood and start over… but that person has no business starting new projects. 😅 My neighbors must have thought this project would never end. *I* thought this project would never end. 😰 If you’re thinking of doing this yourself? Just don’t, ok? Throw the whole door away and buy a new one. 😂🤣 Just kidding.  Old house weirdos like me… we can’t just do things the easy way. Anyhoo… after some trial and error, @sherwinwilliams Celestial is what I landed on, and I have to say… I like it. Periwinkle-ish blue looks great with the yellow house and will look even better when the azaleas are in bloom. Was it all worth it? That’s not important right now. 🤭 Will I do this all again in two years? The magic eight ball says… without a doubt. 👏🏻 I’ve already picked the next color. #gluttonforpunishment #somefoolsneverlearn #oldhouselove #oldhomelove #makinghome #southernliving #gardenandgun #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in an 80-year-old house completely worth it … what broken pipes, icy hardwood floors and drafty windows? 🤔 I forgot already. #comeonspring #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Happy Saturday ☀️ Happy Saturday ☀️
Salt Lake City is always magical ✨ Salt Lake City is always magical ✨
2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrollin 2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrolling through my pics from the last twelve months made me realize how blessed and content I am. Prosperity, love, and peace have been ours in abundance, in spite of the pain of losing my dad. The second picture is the last picture of him… the last time I saw him. 💔 But God has been good to my family this year and 2022 is ending far better than it began. 😄 #2022inreview #thanksforthememories
Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍ Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍♀️
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That’s it. That’s the tour. (Slide two). 
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It’s a new trend I’m starting: bare Christmas tree. Lowe’s tag still attached (so quirky and unexpected)! Christmas ornaments still in boxes. Coming soon to an Anthropologie window display near you. 
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Every year I think, “next year I’ll do better. Next year I’ll have it together.” And then, here we are on the SIXTH Christmas that we’ve been in this house, the sixth Christmas I’ve dragged our chaotic bunch of Christmas mess out of a chaotic garage I still haven’t unpacked from our move six years ago. 
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Maybe this year is the year I’ll organize it all and put it back neatly so that by Christmas number 7, it will be smooth sailing. People will flock to my social media to see how I’ve pulled everything off SO PERFECTLY. Next year will be my year. 
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Seems every year there’s less and less bandwidth for all these things. There’s more grief and stress, less money. More demands, less grace. 
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I put this sign on the wall in my office so I could keep it in front of my eyes: Love. Joy. Peace. And all that. I am SO unlike Jesus most days. So lacking in all of these character qualities. And that’s WITH waking up most mornings and spending my first 30 minutes with God Himself. 
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How lost would I be without that? Geez. I can’t fathom. I REQUIRE being transformed by renewing my mind every single morning, and even then, responding to people and life with love, joy, peace and patience doesn’t come naturally. 
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It’s the goal, though. 
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This weary world needs that from us Believers during this season, more than ever… even more than an Anthropologie-window-display worthy Christmas home tour. 
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I’m working on both.
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