My social life has changed dramatically within the past year.
Getting divorced has a funny way of turning your social life upside down…. along with every other aspect of your entire world.
I know my married friends still love me, I really do, but suddenly I’m the divorced chick… the fifth wheel… the odd number… and having a random divorced chick hanging around when everyone else is a couple just makes things awkward for everyone… them AND me.
And to make matters worse, for a few months there I totally withdrew from my friends during the worst months of my life last year (which I regret). It wasn’t because they were married and I wasn’t, by any means; its just that for a while there the world had been jerked out from under me and I wasn’t sure who I was, much less who my friends were.
I hid in the closet and curled up in the fetal position and sucked my thumb, didn’t return calls or answer emails, gained 172 pounds, lost 186, then gained 154, because divorce is a roller coaster like that.
Then decided to get out of the closet, get dressed, get a grip and get the heck on with my new life.
And God blessed me with some amazing new friends. I thank God every day for them… and I’m not just saying that because its the churchy thing to say.
I really, really, thank God for my new friends.
Like Rachel. Rachel was my first single friend. She’s been my backbone over the past few months. She talked me into going to Divorce Care at church and even went with me. She’s prayed for me, prayed with me, cooked me meals, kept my kids, spent the night at my house, been my date to many-a-singles-function, introduced me to all her single friends and helped me feel like I fit in in this new single world, sent me flowers when I was down, took a day off work to sit with me while my kid was having an MRI, and most importantly, just been there to listen to me while I cried, screamed, ranted, raved, and then made me laugh until my sides hurt. I can’t imagine going through what I’ve been through without her.
Then there’s Chandler. He’s funny and witty and sarcastic and a really good, really Godly man. He gets my ridiculous, quirky sense of humor, and even better, I get his (sometimes). He’s helped me do a couple of man-things around the house, played with my kids, brought them gifts, invited me to parties, offered advice, made me laugh, made me laugh some more, and most importantly, told me that the guy who hurt my heart didn’t deserve me. And every single woman needs a good guy friend who’ll tell her that when she’s feeling bad…. your girlfriends will tell you you’re too good for that jerk, but its just different coming from a man. And I’m so glad he’s my friend… Its a perk of being single that you get to have friends of the opposite sex, because married people can’t pull that off too well (and shouldn’t, if you want my .02)! But I made him pinky-promise we’d stay friends even if/when either of us has a significant other. And that’s how it is.
Then of course there’s Joey, because every single woman needs a Joey around. Joey’s the guy to call when you need a really entertaining date to a birthday party. He’s fun and funny. You don’t want to date Joey, not seriously at least, unless you’re ok sharing him with the other twelve or fifteen girls he’s juggling at any one time (And Phoebe isn’t ok with that…)… because everybody knows that’s just Joey. Joey is hilarious and the nonsense he comes up with keeps everyone laughing all the time. The best thing about Joey though is that I can always count on him to flirt with me, because I’m female after all and that’s what he does because he can flirt like nobody’s business, and it makes me smile and makes me feel good. But believe it or not, he is more than a pretty face… somewhere deep, deep down inside, he’s a decent guy with a good heart, and I know this because he let me know more than once that he was praying for my Annie. AND he may not know this yet, but he’s going to use his fabulous, perfectly sculpted muscles to help me move soon. So I think I’ll keep him.
As for Ross and Monica… when we find them I’ll let you know…