OK, Connie, yes. By bi-weekly I actually meant bi-monthly. Or something like that.
I’m sorry, OK? I’ve been a little preccupied with this whole ‘survival mode’ situation. Trying to keep my kids alive. Coping, un-medicated, with a mild case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yes, I really do have that (I know because I diagnosed myself)… and I earned it, by God.
The past few months have been a big terrible blur. I can’t remember what music I used to like. I can’t remember how to cook. I can’t remember the last time I read a book. I can’t remember what I did yesterday. I can’t remember why I had this blog in the first place? Why am I here?
Oh yeah, something about remodeling this dumb house? WHICH is now for sale, by the way. NOT quite the fairytale ending to the Blue House story I was hoping for, but here we are.
Don’t get me wrong… I’m very much thrilled with the path I’m on. I would never, let me repeat that, NEVER, go back. But transition is hard, and that’s where I am now… stuck in this big torturous transition. So thanks to my three friends and blog-readers who have stuck it out with me thus far! Its going to get better.
So what’s been going on with us? Well, I’ve tried to make this summer as entertaining for my little children as possible. And I don’t think they’ve suffered too terribly. We’ve gone to lots of movies, played with lots of friends, and
blown lots of alimony spent too much money eating out. If there’s fun to be had, we’ve had it.
If you’re friends with me on Facebook you know this. She is my missionary child, for sure, and though I tried hard from the time she was little to train her in the way she should go, take her to BSF and to church choir and all that, this decision was all hers. She and Jesus got right last summer at Day Camp, and she made it her mission to get baptized. I was shocked that she wanted to, and at Green Acres Bapti-stadium in front of 172,000 people no less, she declared in the sweetest, shyest little voice that Jesus Christ is her savior. And I cried my eyes out.
Now Annie, she’s going to be a tougher nut to crack. And I did everything the same… took her to BSF, yada yada yada. She’s sweet and all that, but she does need some Jesus in her heart. There’s a song on one of my country music CDs, Brooks and Dunn I think, called Black and White or something like that, about two brothers who were raised the same way and one ended up being a preacher and the other one went to jail.
Katie also got her ears pierced a few weeks ago. And I got the pinched lips from my mother because she is not twelve years old and its just trashy to get little girls’ ears pierced or let them wear makeup or pantyhose before they are twelve. But she wanted to, and I just couldn’t think of one good reason why the heck not to. She’s almost a third-grader, she’s had a brutal year just like I have, and she wanted to. So we did it.
So what else is going on…
Well, I got a job! I’m the Director of Social Services at Truman W. Smith Children’s Care Center, which is a nursing home for very sick children. Its a fabulous, wonderful place… and a terrible, horrible place. The people who work there are saints, I tell ya, and I love working with people like that. I love being a Social Worker. Being grossly underpaid to do a disgusting, grueling job is my calling in life, seriously…. I can’t imagine doing anything different. I’m weird like that. I feel like I’m doing something good for people who through no fault of their own can’t do anything for themselves, and I like that.
Being rich is overrated anyway, so I hear.
I gotta tell you… going back to work full time was tough. For the first few weeks I would come home and collapse on the couch, falling asleep in my work clothes, too tired to cook or to brush my teeth. Well, not really on the teeth-brushing…I will always try to muster one last ounce of strength to brush my teeth. It was exhausting. I’ve been there two months now and I think I’m finally used to it. I finally have the energy to actually work all day then try to feed my children something for supper. They’re tired of nachos and Little Caesar’s Pizza.
This particular week was especially tough at TWS though. I won’t go into details, but one resident who has lived there most of his life got some really bad news this week. And everybody is crushed and devastated. Though I’ve only known this guy two months… he’s quite a hero and endures his sorry lot in life…. and its sad and makes you contemplate the unfairness of life. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.
Now for the good news. I have a contract on a house!
An adorable, fabulous, tiny little house which is…. guess what!… in this neighborhood.
And… the same color as this one, which is actually gray and not blue. I didn’t want to announce about the ‘new’ house on the blog just yet, because its not a done deal until I have the keys, of course, but … I’m hoping and praying it all falls into place. And knowing that I might buy that house is the only reason I haven’t shut down this whole dumb blog… because there may just be more stories of rats and remodeling yet to come.
See ya in another two months….