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Healthy Fear.

Melissa Beene Ford/ Uncategorized

There has been no force more motivating in my life than healthy fear of my dad.

No childhood terror so great as the terror of hearing his footsteps stomping up the stairs when I KNEW I had done something….

(And its not like there were beatings or drunkenness or anything REAL to fear… it was more the fear of …. disapproval).

THAT is the most heart-wrenching pain of all, worse than any beating. Well, at least I imagine it to be; I’ve never been beaten in my life.

Even now! I’m a grownup! But he gets a stricken look on his face, frowning at me over the top of his glasses, and I’m instantly reprimanded.

A look a lot like this one:

(And THAT time I got the look because I snapped his picture with my phone. I’m not sure if it was the picture or the phone… because iPhones elicit eye rolls from my dad… a yuppy phone, he calls it…)

I’ve gotten the stricken look a few times in my adult life, when I’ve sprung things on him like, “I think I’m going to major in Psychology and Christian Ministry,” or “I think I want to buy an 80-year-old fixer-upper house,” or “I really want to trade my Oldsmobile for a Honda Prelude.”

He gives me the look, and without saying a word, I know I can’t make a living with a Psychology and Christian Ministry degree, I’ll go broke if I buy the old house, and I’ll get too many speeding tickets if I drive a sports car.

Just like that.

GOD FORBID I’d ever try smoking pot, voting for a Democrat, or joining a non-Baptist church (aka a cult). I’ve never done ANY of those things. And you know why? BECAUSE I’M AFRAID OF THE STRICKEN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL.

So lately… when I’m feeling lazy at work — rarely, of course — I’ll motivate myself by picturing my dad sitting in one of my office chairs, watching how hard I work. And it lights a fire under me. I NEVER get so much work done, so fast, as when I imagine my dad sitting there looking stricken.

I’ll pick up my phone to send a text during business hours… and see the stricken look.

I’ll start to surf the internet when I’m not on my lunch hour… and see the stricken look.

I’ll start to make a personal phone call from my office phone… and see the stricken look.

Instantly, I know… You’re stealing time from the company. Get back to work. My dad, with his work ethic, would NEVER DREAM of doing ANY of those things.

Its a long, long time until my beach vacation and I’m feeling a little tired at work lately. I’ve been moving slowly. Taking an hour to complete an assessment that should take 20 minutes.

Its shameful.

I think I’ll print out this picture and put it in a frame to remind me to get my head in the game, work hard, and make my dad proud.

The alternative is far too scary.

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About Me


Hey there... I'm Melissa! Texas girl. Mom to three + one goldendoodle. Believer. Old house fanatic. Creating a happy + healthy home with purpose is my passion. I'm so glad you're here!

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I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 years of paint off of this door down to the wood and start over… but that person has no business starting new projects. 😅 My neighbors must have thought this project would never end. *I* thought this project would never end. 😰 If you’re thinking of doing this yourself? Just don’t, ok? Throw the whole door away and buy a new one. 😂🤣 Just kidding.  Old house weirdos like me… we can’t just do things the easy way. Anyhoo… after some trial and error, @sherwinwilliams Celestial is what I landed on, and I have to say… I like it. Periwinkle-ish blue looks great with the yellow house and will look even better when the azaleas are in bloom. Was it all worth it? That’s not important right now. 🤭 Will I do this all again in two years? The magic eight ball says… without a doubt. 👏🏻 I’ve already picked the next color. #gluttonforpunishment #somefoolsneverlearn #oldhouselove #oldhomelove #makinghome #southernliving #gardenandgun #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in an 80-year-old house completely worth it … what broken pipes, icy hardwood floors and drafty windows? 🤔 I forgot already. #comeonspring #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Happy Saturday ☀️ Happy Saturday ☀️
Salt Lake City is always magical ✨ Salt Lake City is always magical ✨
2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrollin 2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrolling through my pics from the last twelve months made me realize how blessed and content I am. Prosperity, love, and peace have been ours in abundance, in spite of the pain of losing my dad. The second picture is the last picture of him… the last time I saw him. 💔 But God has been good to my family this year and 2022 is ending far better than it began. 😄 #2022inreview #thanksforthememories
Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍ Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍♀️
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That’s it. That’s the tour. (Slide two). 
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It’s a new trend I’m starting: bare Christmas tree. Lowe’s tag still attached (so quirky and unexpected)! Christmas ornaments still in boxes. Coming soon to an Anthropologie window display near you. 
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Every year I think, “next year I’ll do better. Next year I’ll have it together.” And then, here we are on the SIXTH Christmas that we’ve been in this house, the sixth Christmas I’ve dragged our chaotic bunch of Christmas mess out of a chaotic garage I still haven’t unpacked from our move six years ago. 
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Maybe this year is the year I’ll organize it all and put it back neatly so that by Christmas number 7, it will be smooth sailing. People will flock to my social media to see how I’ve pulled everything off SO PERFECTLY. Next year will be my year. 
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Seems every year there’s less and less bandwidth for all these things. There’s more grief and stress, less money. More demands, less grace. 
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I put this sign on the wall in my office so I could keep it in front of my eyes: Love. Joy. Peace. And all that. I am SO unlike Jesus most days. So lacking in all of these character qualities. And that’s WITH waking up most mornings and spending my first 30 minutes with God Himself. 
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How lost would I be without that? Geez. I can’t fathom. I REQUIRE being transformed by renewing my mind every single morning, and even then, responding to people and life with love, joy, peace and patience doesn’t come naturally. 
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It’s the goal, though. 
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This weary world needs that from us Believers during this season, more than ever… even more than an Anthropologie-window-display worthy Christmas home tour. 
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I’m working on both.
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