“I never even held hands with her.”

As it turns out, you can do a whole lot with another woman WITHOUT EVER holding her hand. I’m embarrassed to tell you how long it took for me to realize that, and then my eyes were opened and I realized, WOW.

YOU AIN’T EVEN GOTTA HOLD HANDS.

“When would I have time?”

That’s such a great answer to the question, “Is something going on between the two of you?” Answer: “Please (eye roll). When would I have time?”

Notice what’s missing from that answer? THE WORD ‘NO.’ As in, ‘NO, THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN US.’

And my all-time favorite,

“Your insecurity is killing us.”

This is a great way to shift the focus from THEIR behavior to YOUR flaws.

Even if you never were an insecure person before, you begin to wonder if you’re actually the problem here. It’s not THEIR bad behavior; it’s you. And if you weren’t so insecure (or controlling/ angry/ intimidating/ whatever your flaws happen to be) you’d never DREAM of suspecting that your poor, innocent spouse is cheating.

Because they’re NOT cheating; you only THINK they are.

On account of your insecurity.

Your insecurity is FORCING them to have to lie to you.

Are there any others that I missed? Leave them in the comments!!