I work about 4 hours a month in a little children’s clothing store. Sometimes more, sometimes less.
I’ve worked there over 7 years now, since KB was a wee little bundle who slept all day long, and during that time I’ve gotten to know the ‘regular’ customers on a first-name basis.
The other women who work there are all young moms. I think I’m the only Baptist; the others are precious, Godly, Pentecostal women who are wonderful examples to me of how to walk with the Lord…ALL of them. When Annie was diagnosed with her brain tumor, my sweet Pentecostal friends prayed and continued to pray and lift up my little Annie to the Lord. Their churches prayed. Their friends prayed. They told customers to pray. They let me know every time I see them that they are praying and believing in Jesus’ name for Annie’s healing. (Thank you Lord for my Pentecostal friends. Amen).
So the other day, a regular customer came into the store. She’s a very stylish, affluent, socially-connected lady and truthfully I liked that she always remembered my name and chatted with me like we were old friends. She, like most of the other ‘regular’ customers who know me, immediately asked me, “How’s your little girl?”, the utmost concern in her voice. I knew immediately how she knew….because one of the Godly women who work there at the store told her.
I know this lady.
I know she’s a church-going woman who goes to a large church here in town, and I know this because I’ve seen her there more than once, and we’ve had conversations about our churches.
I know she goes to Bible Study Fellowship.
So this lady, I would assume, is a Believer. A Christian. A woman of faith. She’s at least been exposed to the Truth.
She asked about Annie, and so I told her, in not so many words: The tumor is small. We’ve prayed about it and decided that the best thing to do is to NOT do surgery right away but to watch the tumor (doing MRIs every 90 days) and wait to see if it changes and/or causes symptoms meanwhile praying for her healing. We believe that God can and will heal her.
Her reaction stunned me.
And I haven’t stopped thinking about it.
Her jaw almost hit the counter.
Her eyes bulged.
She stood gaping at me, slack-jawed, bug-eyed, for a second or two.
She stammered, horrified, “Well, that’s one way to handle it,” then sort of snapped at me, “I guess stranger things have happened. Stranger things have happened,” she repeated, distractedly grabbed her purchases, and skee-daddled out of there.
As if she couldn’t get away from this weirdo religious fanatic quickly enough.
After I stopped being offended by her reaction, I got a little sad.
After I stopped being kind of queasy and uncomfortable with the idea that I thought she liked me and now she thinks I’m a weirdo religious fanatic, I decided,
I don’t care if she thinks I’m weird.
And that thought was liberating.
I’ve been through too much in the last few years to doubt for one second that God has a plan for me and He will see us through.
I’m the one who sat with BF in the ER the night the ER doc told me, “Its ok, he has a 50% chance of surviving this, and if he survives, there’s a 50% chance he won’t have severe brain damage.”
I’m the one who brought BF home and took care of him for four months while he couldn’t walk or talk normally.
I’m the one who lived with BF who couldn’t work for four months, and two very small children, in about 1,000 square feet of a construction-zone that was missing a kitchen and one exterior wall.
I’m the one who got a phone call from the pediatrician back in April, and he said the bone-chilling words about my baby, “I need you to sit down. I have the MRI report, and there’s something there.”
Life has been permanently changed for me. I don’t have any desire to live life in a way that this lady, or anyone else for that matter, thinks is the right, normal thing to do.
I’m in a whole new place at this point because for whatever reason, God has brought us here.
I’ll just be weird.
And I’m ok with that.
Aww gotta love those good pentecostal women;)<br />I'm one of them. I have to say keep on keepin on. I'm 23 and I have no doubt that Our God can and Will keep you! Don't give up go all the way, your almost there!!! I love that song. I have literally been through alot in my life being young you wouldn't think so, but I have and God has always seen me through. I'm still standing
Honestly, my first reaction when I found out the Annie had a brain tumor was "they need to cut it out and get on with there lives". Since then, I realize that I have not been at all of the doctors appointments and don't know what it is like to face this head on like you do everyday. It is so true that you should not judge people because you don't walk in there shoes. I have
Kristi, that's what 99% of everybody I know seems to think we should do, so you're not alone!! That's what makes it THAT MUCH more difficult coming to the decision to wait…knowing that so many disagree with us. Its been an agonizing decision, but I believe that at this point surgery is riskier for her than leaving the tumor in place. At THIS point. I don't think most people
Yea Melissa. Who cares what that lady thinks or anybody else for that matter. You know what's important and what really matters in life. And being socially accepted by some snooty lady that thinks she's better than you is just a waste of time. Uughh! That just bothers me a lot. I can't stand people like that. You are precious and you keep standing up for God and your family.
Thank you Allison. 🙂 I hope my last answer didn't sound too harsh….. honestly, WE were planning to do surgery ASAP!! I forgot to mention that part. 🙂 Two months ago I never would have dreamed that we would NOT be doing surgery……we had planned to do it the week after school was out… we just could never feel 'at peace' with scheduling surgery so we never did!!! And now we
I think that I must be weird too…. I was so relieved when I found out you weren't doing surgery. Can't really explain why, but I really felt like you shouldn't. I know that God is working in your situation and He will receive the glory!!! May He continue to give you strength and wisdom. <br /><br />Oh, btw, I have a cousin that is an adult and has a marble sized mass (not sure of
I was also a "take it out" kind of person too, at first. Until I thought about Caleb laying on the operating table, going through what Annie would have to endure. I believe that you do not owe anyone an explanation on what or why you are doing what you are doing. I am just glad you let us be a tiny part of a bigger plan for Annie. Still praying…<br />The Atchisons
Thank you Gail 🙂 That's exactly my point….I don't think anyone knows what they would do until they've been in our shoes!! Thank you so much for praying for us. 🙂
Melissa said, "… I decided,<br /><br />I don't care if she thinks I'm weird.<br /><br />And that thought was liberating."<br /><br />And God's Word says:<br />"…where the Spirit of the LORD is, there is liberty." 2 Corinthians 3:17<br /><br />Love, <br />Mrs. R ;)<br />(in Palestine)
I'm Catholic, but I'm okay with being weird, too. 🙂 Thank you for the beautiful, honest post. God bless you. Your dear daughter is in my prayers.<br /><br />Blessings,<br />Kate
Found my way here through a Blogher ad listing ("more from Blogher"). This post really touched me and I just wanted to let you know that I think you are one strong woman, a great mama, a dedicated wife, and a great example of faith. May the Lord carry you through your hard times and cover you and your family. You are obviously touching others by what you have been through. Take care!
Melissa,<br /><br />I'm so glad you are 'one of THOSE people'; the weirdos. We need more like you. I know you are making the right decision for your family because you have prayed and asked God for direction and He has given it to you thus far. No one will ever know what is best for your family like you do. You are an awesome example to us all and I am so glad God allowed our
I thought one thing when I read this post and then I took the time to read through more of your posts on Annie's tumour and you know what? You changed my mind. You are right to wait, and you are right to pray and to count on God.