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I Need a Vacation.

Melissa Beene Ford/ Uncategorized

One thing I’ve noticed about myself is that the happier I am, the cleaner my apartment is and the better I cook.

I’m typing this blog post in an apartment that looks like an episode of Hoarders while my kids forage for leftovers, if that tells you anything about my emotional state today.

I try really hard to not be negative. I hate negative words and avoid negative people, and don’t write negative blog posts. At least I try.

So forgive me just this once. I’m in a really bad mood.

I think I’m just tired. Like, dead-dog, bone-weary. Tired.

2010 really just sucked decades of my life away.

There was the divorce in April.

And with that a steady stream of correspondence from attorneys, at $100 a pop. I think time I opened my mailbox and saw a letter from an attorney, one year of my life was sucked away. I now understand why people make jokes about attorneys plummeting out of airplanes and such.

Two MRIs for my youngest child who was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I lose 10 years of my life with each MRI.

A house for sale.

Then the big move… downsizing from a 3,000 square foot house to a 1,300 square foot apartment. Then the catharsis of going through 12 years worth of belongings to decide which one-third to keep and which two-thirds to lose. (Its more exhausting than it sounds… physically, emotionally, and in all other ways.)

And paying rent. And financial stress.

And kids who are extra-needy as they adjust to a whole new life.

My job of nine years as a stay-at-home-mom, left behind for good.

Started a new job in May working at a gut-wrenching facility where really ill children come to live and sometimes die. I cried the whole 30-mile drive to work and the whole 30-mile drive home, every single day for that first month. It was the sick children, AND the pressure and stress of learning a new job for the first time in nine years…

Traded in an SUV. But gained a beautiful slightly used Honda Accord.

Then my beautiful Honda got hit by a truck.

I’ve been sick almost continuously since May. I think it’s the stress combined with all the bugs I’m exposed to working in a medical facility. And the lack of sleep at night, because I lay awake worrying about all of the above…

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this yet, but I’m exhausted. I haven’t had a day off since May, other than for jury duty, sick kids, sick me, car trouble, or moving. And then I don’t sleep, and that makes me really, really grouchy.

I’d really love a vacation.

And sleep.

A vacation where I could just sleep.

If not for a week, just one day would do.

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  1. Christi says

    February 10, 2011 at 5:40 am

    So sorry that things are piling up on you. Not all blog posts have to be happy…real is better than fake any day. <br /><br />You really have had a lot on your plate, and everyone hits a wall every now and then. Don&#39;t be too hard on yourself about getting worn out. It happens…then things ease up, and lighten again. Nothing ever stays the same.<br /><br />Praying that you will be

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About Me


Hey there... I'm Melissa! Texas girl. Mom to three + one goldendoodle. Believer. Old house fanatic. Creating a happy + healthy home with purpose is my passion. I'm so glad you're here!

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I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 years of paint off of this door down to the wood and start over… but that person has no business starting new projects. 😅 My neighbors must have thought this project would never end. *I* thought this project would never end. 😰 If you’re thinking of doing this yourself? Just don’t, ok? Throw the whole door away and buy a new one. 😂🤣 Just kidding.  Old house weirdos like me… we can’t just do things the easy way. Anyhoo… after some trial and error, @sherwinwilliams Celestial is what I landed on, and I have to say… I like it. Periwinkle-ish blue looks great with the yellow house and will look even better when the azaleas are in bloom. Was it all worth it? That’s not important right now. 🤭 Will I do this all again in two years? The magic eight ball says… without a doubt. 👏🏻 I’ve already picked the next color. #gluttonforpunishment #somefoolsneverlearn #oldhouselove #oldhomelove #makinghome #southernliving #gardenandgun #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in an 80-year-old house completely worth it … what broken pipes, icy hardwood floors and drafty windows? 🤔 I forgot already. #comeonspring #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Happy Saturday ☀️ Happy Saturday ☀️
Salt Lake City is always magical ✨ Salt Lake City is always magical ✨
2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrollin 2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrolling through my pics from the last twelve months made me realize how blessed and content I am. Prosperity, love, and peace have been ours in abundance, in spite of the pain of losing my dad. The second picture is the last picture of him… the last time I saw him. 💔 But God has been good to my family this year and 2022 is ending far better than it began. 😄 #2022inreview #thanksforthememories
Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍ Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍♀️
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That’s it. That’s the tour. (Slide two). 
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It’s a new trend I’m starting: bare Christmas tree. Lowe’s tag still attached (so quirky and unexpected)! Christmas ornaments still in boxes. Coming soon to an Anthropologie window display near you. 
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Every year I think, “next year I’ll do better. Next year I’ll have it together.” And then, here we are on the SIXTH Christmas that we’ve been in this house, the sixth Christmas I’ve dragged our chaotic bunch of Christmas mess out of a chaotic garage I still haven’t unpacked from our move six years ago. 
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Maybe this year is the year I’ll organize it all and put it back neatly so that by Christmas number 7, it will be smooth sailing. People will flock to my social media to see how I’ve pulled everything off SO PERFECTLY. Next year will be my year. 
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Seems every year there’s less and less bandwidth for all these things. There’s more grief and stress, less money. More demands, less grace. 
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I put this sign on the wall in my office so I could keep it in front of my eyes: Love. Joy. Peace. And all that. I am SO unlike Jesus most days. So lacking in all of these character qualities. And that’s WITH waking up most mornings and spending my first 30 minutes with God Himself. 
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How lost would I be without that? Geez. I can’t fathom. I REQUIRE being transformed by renewing my mind every single morning, and even then, responding to people and life with love, joy, peace and patience doesn’t come naturally. 
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It’s the goal, though. 
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This weary world needs that from us Believers during this season, more than ever… even more than an Anthropologie-window-display worthy Christmas home tour. 
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I’m working on both.
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