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In Plain English.

Melissa Beene Ford/ tumor

I chat with my cousin, Dr. Kevin, PhD, periodically on Facebook.

He read Annie’s first MRI report, that I totally did not ‘get,’ and wanted to tell me what he thought of it.

I was so scared of what he might say that I never called him like I was supposed to….

Sometimes Denial Mode is just the place you want to *be* when facing situations like, say, a brain tumor in one of your two favorite children.

Sometimes, you just want to avoid what *MIGHT* be…..better not to know.

Especially when you don’t really know what someone might say….some very well-meaning people want to ‘prepare you for the worst.’

I didn’t want to be ‘prepared for the worst.’

In fact, I can’t think of one single time in life when ANYONE needs to be ‘prepared for the worst.’

Especially not 1) in labor and childbirth, or 2) when your child has a brain tumor.

So heed these words now….if I am ever facing 1) labor and childbirth, or 2) a child with a brain tumor, PLEASE DO NOT PREPARE ME FOR THE WORST! (I promise to not prepare you for the worst either.)

So I did what all polite, well-mannered people do and avoided him.

And everyone else for that matter.

(Sorry, to all of you).

He finally caught up with me on Facebook….I couldn’t hide any longer…..and it turns out he had only kind words and good news for me….so I was completely wrong to avoid calling him! And probably the rest of you as well…again, I’m sorry I haven’t called you back….any of you!

As it turns out, a PhD means you know a thing or two.

Who knew??

Just kidding, Kevin….I’m SO GRATEFUL that I have you around to explain all this to me in language even a blonde can understand. THANK YOU for taking the time…

Here’s our facebook chat:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4:08pmKevin
but the tumor doesn’t appear to be concerning at this point.. from reading the report on the MRI

it may have always been there

and isnt causing any immediate problems

and doesn’t appear to be cancer

4:09pmMelissa
but they did say it will continue to grow so it definitely needs to come out.

they said they couldn’t say if it was cancer without doing a biopsy and they did diagnose it astro-something-oma….isn’t ‘oma’ always cancer?

4:10pmKevin
i’m no neurosurgeon, but from my understanding of anatomy, that will be an OK place for it to be.. and not too complicated to remove

astrocytoma?

4:10pmMelissa
thank you…

4:10pmKevin
no

oma is tumor

4:10pmMelissa
yeah, that sounds right…that whole day is a blur

4:10pmKevin
yeah..

astrocytes are “supporting” cells in the brain.. kinda like the glue and mortar

4:11pmMelissa
ok.

I did a google search and it didn’t look like good news so I never clicked on any of the search results.

4:11pmKevin
its only “cancer” when the cells spread to other areas (annie’s is contained)

umm… should have called.. i’m better than Wikipedia! 😉

4:12pmMelissa
ok. that’s good news.

ha! I was afraid of what you might say.

4:12pmKevin
and her tumor may not even be cancerous

well, in this case, I had only good news

but would you rather hear that news from someone who loves you.. or a doc you barely know?!?!

4:12pmMelissa
they said it appeared to not have any fingers or tentacles. on the MRI it looked like a marble.

there are lots of people who ‘love’ me who want to ‘prepare me for the worst’ …

4:13pmKevin
yes. “Clear margins”… which means the cells haven’t even started spreading

so its either totally not cancer, which seems likely in a neonate….

or the cancer cells haven’t started spreading..

the thing to keep in mind too…

4:14pmMelissa
wow, I totally missed the ‘clear margins’ phrase

4:14pmKevin
this may just be “normal tissue” that is in the wrong place for Annie

and yes, it will grow as she does…

but the rest of her brain will also

including the space where they saw the growth

4:15pmMelissa
well they did say that they could tell by the consistency of it on the MRI picture that it was a tumor

4:15pmKevin
4th ventricle I think they said

4:15pmMelissa
yes

4:15pmKevin
well, they could tell because it was a marble in a space that shouldn’t have a marble.. just empty, fluid filled space.. LOL

4:16pmMelissa
oh….wow.

4:16pmKevin
and being solid also says that its not likely cancer (as cells move it shows up as contoured or diff colors)

so the tumor isn’t pushing on anything important

4:16pmMelissa
I wish I would have called you the other day like I was supposed to…

4:16pmKevin
and its not blocking the flow of fluid through the 4th ventricle

dork!!!

4:16pmMelissa
I’m in panic mode, I can’t help it…

4:17pmKevin
well, I got my PhD in the department of Cell biology and Anatomy

and did my research on developmental biology.. (embryology)

4:17pmMelissa
I did not know that.

4:17pmKevin
yep

4:17pmMelissa
impressive…

4:17pmKevin
whatever

lol

you knew me before I got “edu-ma-cated”

4:18pmMelissa
yeah, didn’t you work at baskin robbins…or was that your wife

4:18pmKevin
she did

I did cancer research fellowship for 7 years at the Arkansas Cancer Researh Center in Little rock

before coming here

but I don’t count that as real work

🙂

4:19pmMelissa
it was probably pretty cushy. cancer research = party all the time

4:19pmKevin
taught anatomy here at *** for 5 years… and developmental biology for 7

have also taught histology (kinda like “normal” pathology” for the past 3 years

so I can kinda help out with all the medical stuff

docs like to WOW patients with big terms

4:21pmMelissa
I didn’t realize y’all had been in *** that long

4:21pmKevin
doesn’t seem like it.. but yeah.. 7 years

so, do you have my number still?

I expect you to use it now!!!!

May 21st.. is our 21 anniversary

4:22pmMelissa
ok, my cell phone is right here…I’m programming it in right now

4:22pmKevin
you actually have to dial it before it will do any good?!?! 😉

4:24pmMelissa
ok…really, I forgot to take it with me to Dallas last time. Now I have no excuse.

4:24pmKevin
LOLOL…

ok… I have guilted you enough for one afternoon..

but i’m serious when I say, please call me if you have any questions… even if I don’t know the answer.. I know how to look it up and explain it

so that you don’t panic

4:25pmMelissa
I will keep that in mind!! thank you!!

4:25pmKevin

ok.. enjoy your rainy evening…

love you!

4:26pmMelissa
thanks 🙂

Thank you, Kevin….one more person who has truly blessed my life in the past hell-a-cious couple of weeks. 🙂

I promise I’ll call you back next time…

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Comments

  1. Shanequa says

    April 18, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    I have to say that was a strange thing to read, but I’ve ALWAYS said….it’s WHO you know, not WHAT you know. It’s good to have somebody in your corner! I bet fishing hubby has even read that from his Crackberry in the middle of a lake somewhere.

    Reply
  2. Marlager says

    April 18, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    that’s cool your cousin could help explain things! God is using so many people to give you HOPE!!!!

    Reply
  3. Christi says

    April 19, 2009 at 3:33 am

    What a great blessing to have a qualified family member that really takes a personal interest in your little Annie!<br /><br />I know that those positive words were like music to your ears!Sounds like there is lots of room for hope! <br /><br />Continuing to pray!

    Reply
  4. Allison Cunningham says

    April 21, 2009 at 1:48 am

    What great news. I’m so glad things are looking up. I think of you often and wish I could have been there to help in some way. We will continue to pray.

    Reply

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Hey there... I'm Melissa! Texas girl. Mom to three + one goldendoodle. Believer. Old house fanatic. Creating a happy + healthy home with purpose is my passion. I'm so glad you're here!

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I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 years of paint off of this door down to the wood and start over… but that person has no business starting new projects. 😅 My neighbors must have thought this project would never end. *I* thought this project would never end. 😰 If you’re thinking of doing this yourself? Just don’t, ok? Throw the whole door away and buy a new one. 😂🤣 Just kidding.  Old house weirdos like me… we can’t just do things the easy way. Anyhoo… after some trial and error, @sherwinwilliams Celestial is what I landed on, and I have to say… I like it. Periwinkle-ish blue looks great with the yellow house and will look even better when the azaleas are in bloom. Was it all worth it? That’s not important right now. 🤭 Will I do this all again in two years? The magic eight ball says… without a doubt. 👏🏻 I’ve already picked the next color. #gluttonforpunishment #somefoolsneverlearn #oldhouselove #oldhomelove #makinghome #southernliving #gardenandgun #azaleadistrict #tylertx
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Every year I think, “next year I’ll do better. Next year I’ll have it together.” And then, here we are on the SIXTH Christmas that we’ve been in this house, the sixth Christmas I’ve dragged our chaotic bunch of Christmas mess out of a chaotic garage I still haven’t unpacked from our move six years ago. 
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I put this sign on the wall in my office so I could keep it in front of my eyes: Love. Joy. Peace. And all that. I am SO unlike Jesus most days. So lacking in all of these character qualities. And that’s WITH waking up most mornings and spending my first 30 minutes with God Himself. 
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I’m working on both.
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