I chat with my cousin, Dr. Kevin, PhD, periodically on Facebook.
He read Annie’s first MRI report, that I totally did not ‘get,’ and wanted to tell me what he thought of it.
I was so scared of what he might say that I never called him like I was supposed to….
Sometimes Denial Mode is just the place you want to *be* when facing situations like, say, a brain tumor in one of your two favorite children.
Sometimes, you just want to avoid what *MIGHT* be…..better not to know.
Especially when you don’t really know what someone might say….some very well-meaning people want to ‘prepare you for the worst.’
I didn’t want to be ‘prepared for the worst.’
In fact, I can’t think of one single time in life when ANYONE needs to be ‘prepared for the worst.’
Especially not 1) in labor and childbirth, or 2) when your child has a brain tumor.
So heed these words now….if I am ever facing 1) labor and childbirth, or 2) a child with a brain tumor, PLEASE DO NOT PREPARE ME FOR THE WORST! (I promise to not prepare you for the worst either.)
So I did what all polite, well-mannered people do and avoided him.
And everyone else for that matter.
(Sorry, to all of you).
He finally caught up with me on Facebook….I couldn’t hide any longer…..and it turns out he had only kind words and good news for me….so I was completely wrong to avoid calling him! And probably the rest of you as well…again, I’m sorry I haven’t called you back….any of you!
As it turns out, a PhD means you know a thing or two.
Who knew??
Just kidding, Kevin….I’m SO GRATEFUL that I have you around to explain all this to me in language even a blonde can understand. THANK YOU for taking the time…
Here’s our facebook chat:
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4:08pmKevin
but the tumor doesn’t appear to be concerning at this point.. from reading the report on the MRI
it may have always been there
and isnt causing any immediate problems
and doesn’t appear to be cancer
4:09pmMelissa
but they did say it will continue to grow so it definitely needs to come out.
they said they couldn’t say if it was cancer without doing a biopsy and they did diagnose it astro-something-oma….isn’t ‘oma’ always cancer?
4:10pmKevin
i’m no neurosurgeon, but from my understanding of anatomy, that will be an OK place for it to be.. and not too complicated to remove
astrocytoma?
4:10pmMelissa
thank you…
4:10pmKevin
no
oma is tumor
4:10pmMelissa
yeah, that sounds right…that whole day is a blur
4:10pmKevin
yeah..
astrocytes are “supporting” cells in the brain.. kinda like the glue and mortar
4:11pmMelissa
ok.
I did a google search and it didn’t look like good news so I never clicked on any of the search results.
4:11pmKevin
its only “cancer” when the cells spread to other areas (annie’s is contained)
umm… should have called.. i’m better than Wikipedia! 😉
4:12pmMelissa
ok. that’s good news.
ha! I was afraid of what you might say.
4:12pmKevin
and her tumor may not even be cancerous
well, in this case, I had only good news
but would you rather hear that news from someone who loves you.. or a doc you barely know?!?!
4:12pmMelissa
they said it appeared to not have any fingers or tentacles. on the MRI it looked like a marble.
there are lots of people who ‘love’ me who want to ‘prepare me for the worst’ …
4:13pmKevin
yes. “Clear margins”… which means the cells haven’t even started spreading
so its either totally not cancer, which seems likely in a neonate….
or the cancer cells haven’t started spreading..
the thing to keep in mind too…
4:14pmMelissa
wow, I totally missed the ‘clear margins’ phrase
4:14pmKevin
this may just be “normal tissue” that is in the wrong place for Annie
and yes, it will grow as she does…
but the rest of her brain will also
including the space where they saw the growth
4:15pmMelissa
well they did say that they could tell by the consistency of it on the MRI picture that it was a tumor
4:15pmKevin
4th ventricle I think they said
4:15pmMelissa
yes
4:15pmKevin
well, they could tell because it was a marble in a space that shouldn’t have a marble.. just empty, fluid filled space.. LOL
4:16pmMelissa
oh….wow.
4:16pmKevin
and being solid also says that its not likely cancer (as cells move it shows up as contoured or diff colors)
so the tumor isn’t pushing on anything important
4:16pmMelissa
I wish I would have called you the other day like I was supposed to…
4:16pmKevin
and its not blocking the flow of fluid through the 4th ventricle
dork!!!
4:16pmMelissa
I’m in panic mode, I can’t help it…
4:17pmKevin
well, I got my PhD in the department of Cell biology and Anatomy
and did my research on developmental biology.. (embryology)
4:17pmMelissa
I did not know that.
4:17pmKevin
yep
4:17pmMelissa
impressive…
4:17pmKevin
whatever
lol
you knew me before I got “edu-ma-cated”
4:18pmMelissa
yeah, didn’t you work at baskin robbins…or was that your wife
4:18pmKevin
she did
I did cancer research fellowship for 7 years at the Arkansas Cancer Researh Center in Little rock
before coming here
but I don’t count that as real work
🙂
4:19pmMelissa
it was probably pretty cushy. cancer research = party all the time
4:19pmKevin
taught anatomy here at *** for 5 years… and developmental biology for 7
have also taught histology (kinda like “normal” pathology” for the past 3 years
so I can kinda help out with all the medical stuff
docs like to WOW patients with big terms
4:21pmMelissa
I didn’t realize y’all had been in *** that long
4:21pmKevin
doesn’t seem like it.. but yeah.. 7 years
so, do you have my number still?
I expect you to use it now!!!!
May 21st.. is our 21 anniversary
4:22pmMelissa
ok, my cell phone is right here…I’m programming it in right now
4:22pmKevin
you actually have to dial it before it will do any good?!?! 😉
4:24pmMelissa
ok…really, I forgot to take it with me to Dallas last time. Now I have no excuse.
4:24pmKevin
LOLOL…
ok… I have guilted you enough for one afternoon..
but i’m serious when I say, please call me if you have any questions… even if I don’t know the answer.. I know how to look it up and explain it
so that you don’t panic
4:25pmMelissa
I will keep that in mind!! thank you!!
4:25pmKevin
ok.. enjoy your rainy evening…
love you!
4:26pmMelissa
thanks 🙂
Thank you, Kevin….one more person who has truly blessed my life in the past hell-a-cious couple of weeks. 🙂
I promise I’ll call you back next time…
I have to say that was a strange thing to read, but I’ve ALWAYS said….it’s WHO you know, not WHAT you know. It’s good to have somebody in your corner! I bet fishing hubby has even read that from his Crackberry in the middle of a lake somewhere.
that’s cool your cousin could help explain things! God is using so many people to give you HOPE!!!!
What a great blessing to have a qualified family member that really takes a personal interest in your little Annie!<br /><br />I know that those positive words were like music to your ears!Sounds like there is lots of room for hope! <br /><br />Continuing to pray!
What great news. I’m so glad things are looking up. I think of you often and wish I could have been there to help in some way. We will continue to pray.