Once upon a time, I met a girl who became my INSTANT BFF.
I mean, this INSTANT connection happened between us, where I’d say, “I love XYZ,” and she’d gasp and exclaim, “ME TOO!”
And I’d talk about music, and my favorite songs were her favorite ones, too.
It was that way with ALL THE THINGS… every idea I had, she thought was brilliant; everything I liked to do, she did too.
It was all super fun in the beginning, because WHO doesn’t love to be agreed with and to have their every idea validated? Until, well, it got weird, because she agreed with everything. And that’s just not normal.
And then sometimes the things I had that she loved would suddenly go missing from my apartment after she’d been there, and she, naturally, wouldn’t know a thing about it… ?
And then I’d notice the stories she’d tell wouldn’t add up; she’d claim she accomplished things that were humanly impossible feats of strength.
Like back in high school, when she was the Head Cheerleader, Drill Team Captain, Drum Major, Valedictorian, Class Favorite, and Class Beauty, all at the same time…. because her stories were like that. She was the superlative of everything, at least in the stories she told, and if she had been a hunter, she would have been the person who could shoot a turkey right in the eyeball from 300 yards away.
And the lies got more and more outlandish until even I, as a trusting, naive blonde, decided she couldn’t be believed any more. And that takes a lot, because I just tend to want to believe people.
I never could wrap my head around her.
Why would someone tell lies like that? Lies about everything. And lies about nothing. For no reason, or for any reason, every single thing she said was an outlandish lie.
I didn’t get it then, and I still don’t… she would lie when it would benefit her absolutely ZERO to do so. And sadly, since that first experience with a compulsive liar, I’ve been acquainted with even more people who love to lie.
And it shocks me to my core, still.
Especially when I have to quietly sit and listen as the lies pour forth, unable to defend the truth.
KNOWING that there’s an audience soaking up every lie, and cheering it on, helping the liar embellish his story, all the while praising him for being such an amazing human.
I’ve typed and deleted a million words since I started this post, because I can’t string together the words I want to say. I want to publicly rebuke the liar and shame the family who enables the liar and circles the wagons around to defend the liar with his lifelong lying habit, but the thing about liars and the ones who defend them is that the lies are so precious to them because of what they hide: wickedness, sinful hearts, and pride. Because if we acknowledge that this is a lie, it would mean we aren’t perfect. And we must. believe. we. are. perfect. at. all. costs.
A few things I know for sure, though:
- All lies come from Satan.
- It happened to Jesus, and he didn’t defend himself either.
- The truth will come to light, eventually.
That’s all.
I am struggling with whether I should comment or not. I have so much I could say but I will try to summarize it. After typing and deleting for a long time here, I think I will post this.
I completely understand your post. The problem is that the liar in my life is my husband. He lies about most everything, even for even no reason. I was very naive and gullible, I just believed people. Now, I believe nothing that he tells me.
Just one thought, the family of the liar is not always trying to protect the liar, we are just struggling with knowing what to do.
The only reason that I am still here (almost 18 years now) is because I am a Christian and feel that being married to a liar is not grounds for divorce. I am trying to obey God and do what is right even in the midst of all the hurt.
Your 3 points at the end are very helpful. Thank you.