The worst part of being single, by far, is being lonely.
I stay so very busy that I hardly have time to be lonely, but on those eight nights a month that my kids are away from me and I’m alone at home and all I can hear is the sound of the clock ticking and the
… THAT is excruciating, I’m not gonna lie.
Its the lonely that leads to most of the bad decisions single people make, I think.
Married people are always quick to tell you, “WAIT FOR GOD’S BEST. God has someone better for you. Don’t settle. Yada yada yada.”
But they don’t get it.
Its easier to believe all that, and give that advice, when you HAVE someone. And I don’t do lonely well; I’m a person who would rather have people around, but its challenging at times to find people to surround yourself with when YOU’RE single and all of your close friends are MARRIED…
…and the kids are gone for the weekend.
I remember feeling this way the first time I was single… hating the time alone when my college roommates had dates and I didn’t; trying to find a constructive way to fill my alone-time, and usually that involved reading books.
Lots and lots of books.
And while its not fun to be lonely now, and it wasn’t fun then, I learned a lesson back then about finding the good in the lonely. God has a purpose for the lonely times in our lives, too.
This song by Wayne Watson was particularly meaningful for me back then, and I just happened to remember it as I was pondering all of this. Somewhere, in a box, I’m sure I still have this old CD that I listened to over and over in my dorm room the first time I was single and lonely, and God used these lyrics to bring me comfort and peace that there really is a purpose for the loneliness.
It’s good to be lonely every now and again
To be parted from the ones you adore
To sit at a table for two all alone
And take a look at the world around you
At people with no one to go home to,
Some with a place to belong
Others consumed by their weakness…
And another, when weak, seems so strong
Lord, let me be at peace wherever I am
Satisfied with all I have–A faithful friend.
And know I am grateful
‘Cause if it makes me love you even more
I know–I’m sure
It’s good to be lonely every now and again.
It’s good to go down to defeat now and then
To fail at some noble pursuit
To fall short of the prize
And find in His eyes
There’s nothing your victory can do
To secure higher favor
He cannot love you more than now
Winners and losers
All are the same somehow
And it’s good to know sorrow
To be closely acquainted with grief
To be showered with tears
No reason to cheer
To find in Christ your only relief
And that’s my first goal for Year Two: to learn to be lonely and like it.
Maybe ‘liking it’ is a bit of a stretch.
Maybe just to let myself be lonely… and learn to make the most of it, and to avoid making bad decisions, or surrounding myself with the wrong person/people, JUST SO I won’t have to be lonely.
To wait… for God’s best for me…
while I’m lonely.
If it makes me love Him even more…
Its good to be lonely every now and again.