I’m so frustrated right now.

I’ve been trying to explain something for, literally, weeks now to this particular person who DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMIN’ OUT OF MY MOUTH.

It’s like I’m speaking English, and he’s hearing Chinese.

This must be what stroke victims feel like… they struggle so hard to strain the words out, only for their families to pat them on the head and nod and smile blankly.

Remember that movie Folks? How the dad kept struggling to get out the word “McDonnell-Douglas” and his offspring kept hearing “McDonald’s” and taking the poor guy for a Big Mac?

I feel like that old man. Like a stroke victim.

I’m saying the words as clearly as I can… he’s hearing Charlie Brown’s teacher.

I feel like I do OK expressing myself, perhaps not as well verbally as in writing… I do struggle to focus long enough to get out a coherent verbal sentence sometimes, what with my A.D.D. and all… but in writing, people seem to get the message I’m tryin’ to get across.

Not this time. Not even after a zillion text messages and a trillion yahoo chats.

What IS it that makes it so difficult for men and women to understand each other?!

Google Translate should invent a website where you can plug in your desired words in the Women language and it translates it into the Words Men Can Grasp dialect.

Or the reverse, where men can plug in the words they’re trying to express, and it translates into something OTHER THAN “He’s Saying I Look Fat,” which, as we all know, is what women tend to hear whenever men try to talk.

So that’s where I am. Frustrated, with a throbbing pain in my temple from where I banged my head repeatedly into the wall.

~~~~~

And on a TOTALLY, COMPLETELY unrelated note, I’m thinking a nice, relaxing week at the Behavioral Health Center is beginning to sound like a GREAT way to spend some vacation time…