Love or Infatuation?

So last night I met a couple of my single friends, Rachel and Potential Ross* (*we’re still in the interview process) at Cheddar’s for conversation and LOTS of laughs. Monica, Chandler, and the Cute Doctor couldn’t make it… sadly. 🙁 and as it often does with single people, the subject of love ~ past, present, and future ~ and all the good and bad that goes along with it ~ came up.

The waiters, however, weren’t laughing so much when we ended up closing the place down because we were still laughing at our table 1 1/2 hours after closing time. As a former waitress, I sympathize and apologize sincerely, but its just that as a single mom I don’t get to get out of the house much…. and it was just so darn fun…

And while I don’t remember some parts of our conversation, other parts of it are painfully blistered into my memory forever, I’m afraid, because confessions were flowing all too easily… but what’s said at Cheddar’s stays at Cheddar’s… right Rachel and Ross? 😉

Its conversations like these with my interesting crew of single friends that made me think of this old Ann Landers article from decades ago.

I don’t remember where I got it, way back when, but this article stayed on my bulletin board all through high school and college and helped me make a decision about a silly teenaged boy or two, so remembering a few of the words and phrases I once had memorized, I googled the article and found it on the internet.

A couple of decades later, I still think there’s a lot of wisdom in Ann Landers’ words. So, for all my single friends trying to navigate all this love business, I’m reposting her article just for you…

Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another.Love
is a friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a
time. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and
eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence even when he/she is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him/her nearer, but near or far, you know he/she is yours and you can wait.

Infatuation says, “We must get married right away! I can’t risk losing
you!” Love says, “Be patient. Do not panic. Plan your future with
confidence.”

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you
are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.Love is the maturation of
friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When he/she is away you wonder if he/she is cheating. Sometimes you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. Your beloved
feels that also and that makes them even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret later, but love never will.Love is elevating. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It lifts you up. It makes you a better person.

–Ann Landers