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New Job. Random Thoughts.

Melissa Beene Ford/ Uncategorized

* Some days, I love almost everything about my job. Some days, I actually have fleeting moments where I believe this job is my calling in life and I would happily work here forever even if they didn’t pay me.

* And then on other days, I consider it a success that I did not start smoking cigarettes that day. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve thought about it. I’ve even been in CVS on my lunch hour and thought to myself, “I could buy cigarettes while I’m here and then I could smoke and I would feel so mellow.” But I didn’t. But I’m not saying I won’t. Some days, I’m convinced that its a strong possibility that I WILL, without a doubt, be a smoker if I keep working there.

* Today was one of those smoking-wishful-thinking days. I deliberately stayed away from the Butt Hut (the smoker’s gazebo) so as to avoid the temptation. It was one of those days.

* I wonder if some sort of self-destructive tendency goes along with working at a place like that, due to 1) almost everybody smokes, and 2) one of my coworkers actually said today that he hoped I would hit him with my car in the parking lot so that he could check into the hospital and not have to come to work for a while. Makes you wonder….

* If not cigarettes, do we all need some substance to get through the day? My personal drug of choice is a Diet Dr. Pepper and two extra-strength Excedrin, but only on the really tough days. And on the really, really tough days, I clock out and go to Sonic for happy hour for a large DDP. Today was a two-DDP, four-ESE day. That’s a lot. But DDP days are pretty rare.

* However. The cafeteria was out of coffee creamer today. STINK. Because I do have to have my eight or so cups of coffee per day. And I am not a black coffee drinker. This bad habit started when I started working here; like I said… we all need a substance. And the cafe is right across the hall from my office, with fresh coffee all day long… so convenient. But no coffee for me today. And I was not happy about that.

* And on an unrelated note… I don’t sleep much at night.

* There is no Starbucks in Gladewater. I’m sure this comes as a surprise to no one. However, they do sell wine in the Brookshire’s so if you’re at the grocery store on your lunch hour, hypothetically you could buy wine right there in the grocery store. Not that I would buy wine on my lunch hour. Or ever. I’m Baptist, duh. But it is weird to see in the grocery store, having lived in a dry county my whole life.

* There is no Chic-Fil-A in Gladewater. Again, no surprise. Though if you’re hankerin’ for Chicken Fried Steak, you have your choice of fine dining establishments from the Pea Patch to the Silver Spur. Which is why I end up at Brookshire’s most days on my lunch hour, and not always for the wine; they have fruit and salad there. I really should start taking my lunch to work.

* I hate Medicaid and all parts of my job related to Medicaid. I hate their stupid 1-800 numbers that I have to call, get transferred here, get transferred there, hang up and dial another 1-800 number only to get transferred right back to the first person I talked to…. sheesh. I hate the Medicaid application, 172 pages of boxes and blanks. It makes me all head-achy and nauseated just to look at it. I spend HOURS on hold with Medicaid, though this does give me ample opportunity to catch up on my Words With Friends games while I’m stuck to the telephone….

* I have my own office, which I do not particularly enjoy. I wish I shared an office and when Laura left, really tried to snag her desk so I could share an office with Tasha just to have some companionship. Didn’t work out. So I sit alone and stare at a dirty beige wall all day with no one to talk to. Except Medicaid.

* And J., a 21 y/o girl who lives there. She comes to visit me most days. Some days I love a visit from J., and other days I have to pray for patience because she wants to visit 3 or 4 times as I’m trying to sort through a dadgum Medicaid application and I’m just too ADHD to multitask. Some days, I know just what to say to make J. laugh, and I do love to make her laugh… she totally gets my goofy sense of humor. I also know how to make her roll her eyes, like when I can’t get off the phone with stupid Medicaid to talk to her. My favorite, though, is when she wants me to turn up the radio and she belts out country songs at the top of her lungs. That, literally, brings tears to my eyes, its so awesome. I would work there for free just to hear J. sing country songs. She loves her some country music, though she has posters of Eminem and 50 Cent in her room. My kinda girl.

* L. is a 17 y/o guy who blows kisses at me from his wheelchair and tells me I’m hot when I walk by, and when he asked me if I was married and I said NO, he said, “Halleluiah!!!!” I don’t care who you are… women love that stuff.

* Then there’s S., a victim of a drive-by shooting who is now a quadriplegic. He has some amazing art on his walls that he painted by holding a paint brush in his mouth. Amazing! So I recruited him to paint me something for my blank beige wall. What do you want? He asked. Uh…I dunno… how bout a horse. And make it a brown and white paint horse ’cause those are my favorite kinda horses, I answered. So he’s on it. And you better believe that will be one of my prized possessions when he finishes it.

* And N. She fell out of a moving vehicle as it was speeding down the highway. I read her chart, and she had a high likelihood of expiring, the ER records said. And now I watch her, from almost dead two months ago, to therapists help her learning how to walk in the hall right outside my office, and that, my friends, is amazing too. Watching her get better makes dealing with Medicaid on her behalf almost…. almost… worth it.

* Then there’s B. He’s the guy I told you about who got bad news last week. He really wants a Play Station 3. And by gosh, he deserves it. If you feel so inclined to buy him one.

* But my favorite person of all is J., a 25 y/o guy with cerebral palsy who tracks me with his eyes when I walk through his wing. At some point each day, I make a point to go say hi to J. and pat him on the head because he reaches out to hold my hand and grins SO BIG that it makes my heart melt. We all seem to have our favorite resident, and goodness gracious, he makes my day. He is my positive affirmation each day because when I’ve had a really crappy day, J. always loves for me to just say hi to him.

And that’s reason enough to get up and go to work every day.

Even if I do end up with lung cancer because of it.







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Comments

  1. N.S. says

    July 20, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    May God Bless you! Your blog today was a very truthful, heartfelt confession that really blessed my heart. Keep on keeping on because those precious children need you and your God given talents. May you receive a blessing each day because you are certainly one for them.

    Reply
  2. Connie says

    July 20, 2010 at 11:26 pm

    Aww, thanks for giving us a glimpse into your day. Please show us a pic of the painting when your done…how sweet and special. Love stuff like that. <br /><br />And…I have to go run an errand but when I get back I&#39;m changing your name on my blog! SORRY! Didn&#39;t even think about that!

    Reply
  3. Kathy says

    July 23, 2010 at 2:42 am

    You are hilarious. And just say no! {Says the former smoker} <br /><br />Endure well beautiful lady &lt;3

    Reply

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About Me


Hey there... I'm Melissa! Texas girl. Mom to three + one goldendoodle. Believer. Old house fanatic. Creating a happy + healthy home with purpose is my passion. I'm so glad you're here!

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I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 years of paint off of this door down to the wood and start over… but that person has no business starting new projects. 😅 My neighbors must have thought this project would never end. *I* thought this project would never end. 😰 If you’re thinking of doing this yourself? Just don’t, ok? Throw the whole door away and buy a new one. 😂🤣 Just kidding.  Old house weirdos like me… we can’t just do things the easy way. Anyhoo… after some trial and error, @sherwinwilliams Celestial is what I landed on, and I have to say… I like it. Periwinkle-ish blue looks great with the yellow house and will look even better when the azaleas are in bloom. Was it all worth it? That’s not important right now. 🤭 Will I do this all again in two years? The magic eight ball says… without a doubt. 👏🏻 I’ve already picked the next color. #gluttonforpunishment #somefoolsneverlearn #oldhouselove #oldhomelove #makinghome #southernliving #gardenandgun #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in an 80-year-old house completely worth it … what broken pipes, icy hardwood floors and drafty windows? 🤔 I forgot already. #comeonspring #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Happy Saturday ☀️ Happy Saturday ☀️
Salt Lake City is always magical ✨ Salt Lake City is always magical ✨
2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrollin 2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrolling through my pics from the last twelve months made me realize how blessed and content I am. Prosperity, love, and peace have been ours in abundance, in spite of the pain of losing my dad. The second picture is the last picture of him… the last time I saw him. 💔 But God has been good to my family this year and 2022 is ending far better than it began. 😄 #2022inreview #thanksforthememories
Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍ Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍♀️
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That’s it. That’s the tour. (Slide two). 
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It’s a new trend I’m starting: bare Christmas tree. Lowe’s tag still attached (so quirky and unexpected)! Christmas ornaments still in boxes. Coming soon to an Anthropologie window display near you. 
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Every year I think, “next year I’ll do better. Next year I’ll have it together.” And then, here we are on the SIXTH Christmas that we’ve been in this house, the sixth Christmas I’ve dragged our chaotic bunch of Christmas mess out of a chaotic garage I still haven’t unpacked from our move six years ago. 
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Maybe this year is the year I’ll organize it all and put it back neatly so that by Christmas number 7, it will be smooth sailing. People will flock to my social media to see how I’ve pulled everything off SO PERFECTLY. Next year will be my year. 
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Seems every year there’s less and less bandwidth for all these things. There’s more grief and stress, less money. More demands, less grace. 
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I put this sign on the wall in my office so I could keep it in front of my eyes: Love. Joy. Peace. And all that. I am SO unlike Jesus most days. So lacking in all of these character qualities. And that’s WITH waking up most mornings and spending my first 30 minutes with God Himself. 
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How lost would I be without that? Geez. I can’t fathom. I REQUIRE being transformed by renewing my mind every single morning, and even then, responding to people and life with love, joy, peace and patience doesn’t come naturally. 
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It’s the goal, though. 
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This weary world needs that from us Believers during this season, more than ever… even more than an Anthropologie-window-display worthy Christmas home tour. 
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I’m working on both.
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