I’m sitting here in the wee hours of the morning with my feet in the chair.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to leave the computer desk at all today.

I got up at 4-ish this morning, as is my custom lately (I’m trying to change my night-owl ways and become a productive early-morning person who makes my spouse proud…but that’s another story).

I crept through the dark house until I found the living room lamp and flipped it on, sat down and had my prayer and Bible-reading time.

And then I saw it.

A slug.

A nasty, vile, dis.gus.ting thing. On my hard-wood floors. In the middle of the living room.

Its not the first time something nasty has made its way into my house.

First there were the rats.

And every time it rains hard, earthworms find their way under my front door.

I’m really roughing it, I tell you. No one should have to live in these conditions.

But today, I think I’ve finally been pushed beyond the brink of what I can handle.

But here’s the really bad part.

I didn’t pick up the slug (are you kidding?).

There are some things in life that are simply a man’s job.

So I left the little treasure to surprise hubby with when he wakes up.

I got up to go start breakfast for the fam, turning ALL the lights on along the way, and tip-toeing carefully lest I step on any of God’s loveliest creatures in. my. bare. feet. You know, in case the slug brought his wife and kids along.

Because I would just be dead from a massive coronary if that were to happen.

Put the bacon in the oven, came back into the living room and…..

(gasp)

No Slug.

Which means…..you guessed it……he’s somewhere. Loose. In. My. House.

In an undisclosed location.

Odds are, I’ll find him when he squishes in between my bare toes sometime today.

Or when he crawls into bed with me tonight.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Slugs are overrunning our yard lately.

Which is disgusting enough in itself.

I’ve been meaning to do something about it. I’ve heard diatomaceous earth gets rid of them.

The trouble is, I don’t think about it until its dark outside, I see them on the porch, I’m in my jammies, and its too late to run to Home Depot.

And since its early in the morning, let me leave you with a delicious image of our cat’s food bowl, full of rain water and slugs, to spoil your breakfast:

Melissa’s To-Do List 7/23/09:
1) Stay in this chair all day
or
2) Go to Home Depot and buy Diatomaceous Earth?

I’ll let you know how it turns out.