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Ruthless.

Melissa Beene Ford/ Uncategorized

As I was reading through old un-published blog posts last night, not ALL of them I came across were bad. In fact, this one was pretty dang good. I don’t know why it never got published? Maybe it isn’t quite finished? But here it is anyway, from sometime in 2010…

Once upon a time I went to a few sessions of pre-marital counseling with Ron Wells.

I was trying really hard to do everything right… and here we are.

One of the few things I remember from those sessions thirteen years ago was,

BE RUTHLESS.


Our pastor repeated it often, and it stuck: if you want your marriage to succeed, you have to be ruthless, he admonished. Ruthless in GUARDING your time together. Ruthless about PROTECTING that which is most valuable to you. Ruthless about cutting, hacking, and chopping off that which is harmful to your relationship.

EVEN WHEN ITS A GOOD THING, he said. Sometimes you have to CUT OUT that which is GOOD in order to protect that which is THE BEST, like when a gardener prunes perfectly good branches…. its for the good of the plant.

I believe its true: the happiest marriages I know of are the ones where they are both BULLDOGS about protecting each other. Jealously guarding, fiercely protective, securing from danger.

RUTHLESS. Its not a word they utter often in ballerina land, but its wise advice: in 100% of the marriages that fall apart, SOMEONE fails to be ruthless.

RUTHLESS (noun): having no pity : merciless, cruel; a ruthless tyrant;
(adjective) having or showing a lack of sympathy or tender feelings ; an office supervisor with a ruthless disregard for others’ feelings.

Synonyms: affectless, callous, case-hardened, cold-blooded, compassionless, desensitized, hard-boiled, hard-hearted, heartless, indurate, inhuman, inhumane, insensate, insensitive, ironhearted, merciless, obdurate, pachydermatous, pitiless, remorseless, hard, slash-and-burn, soulless, stony (also stoney), stonyhearted, take-no-prisoners, thick-skinned, uncharitable, unfeeling, unmerciful, unsparing, unsympathetic

Hardly words that come to mind when you think of living happily ever after.

But, oh so wise… at least, that’s the view from here…

Protect (verb) to drive danger or attack away from;the mother bear was just trying to protect her cubs;
Synonyms bulwark, cover, fence, fend, forfend, guard, keep, protect, safeguard, screen, secure, shield, ward



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About Me


Hey there... I'm Melissa! Texas girl. Mom to three + one goldendoodle. Believer. Old house fanatic. Creating a happy + healthy home with purpose is my passion. I'm so glad you're here!

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I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 years of paint off of this door down to the wood and start over… but that person has no business starting new projects. 😅 My neighbors must have thought this project would never end. *I* thought this project would never end. 😰 If you’re thinking of doing this yourself? Just don’t, ok? Throw the whole door away and buy a new one. 😂🤣 Just kidding.  Old house weirdos like me… we can’t just do things the easy way. Anyhoo… after some trial and error, @sherwinwilliams Celestial is what I landed on, and I have to say… I like it. Periwinkle-ish blue looks great with the yellow house and will look even better when the azaleas are in bloom. Was it all worth it? That’s not important right now. 🤭 Will I do this all again in two years? The magic eight ball says… without a doubt. 👏🏻 I’ve already picked the next color. #gluttonforpunishment #somefoolsneverlearn #oldhouselove #oldhomelove #makinghome #southernliving #gardenandgun #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in an 80-year-old house completely worth it … what broken pipes, icy hardwood floors and drafty windows? 🤔 I forgot already. #comeonspring #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Happy Saturday ☀️ Happy Saturday ☀️
Salt Lake City is always magical ✨ Salt Lake City is always magical ✨
2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrollin 2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrolling through my pics from the last twelve months made me realize how blessed and content I am. Prosperity, love, and peace have been ours in abundance, in spite of the pain of losing my dad. The second picture is the last picture of him… the last time I saw him. 💔 But God has been good to my family this year and 2022 is ending far better than it began. 😄 #2022inreview #thanksforthememories
Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍ Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍♀️
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That’s it. That’s the tour. (Slide two). 
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It’s a new trend I’m starting: bare Christmas tree. Lowe’s tag still attached (so quirky and unexpected)! Christmas ornaments still in boxes. Coming soon to an Anthropologie window display near you. 
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Every year I think, “next year I’ll do better. Next year I’ll have it together.” And then, here we are on the SIXTH Christmas that we’ve been in this house, the sixth Christmas I’ve dragged our chaotic bunch of Christmas mess out of a chaotic garage I still haven’t unpacked from our move six years ago. 
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Maybe this year is the year I’ll organize it all and put it back neatly so that by Christmas number 7, it will be smooth sailing. People will flock to my social media to see how I’ve pulled everything off SO PERFECTLY. Next year will be my year. 
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Seems every year there’s less and less bandwidth for all these things. There’s more grief and stress, less money. More demands, less grace. 
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I put this sign on the wall in my office so I could keep it in front of my eyes: Love. Joy. Peace. And all that. I am SO unlike Jesus most days. So lacking in all of these character qualities. And that’s WITH waking up most mornings and spending my first 30 minutes with God Himself. 
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How lost would I be without that? Geez. I can’t fathom. I REQUIRE being transformed by renewing my mind every single morning, and even then, responding to people and life with love, joy, peace and patience doesn’t come naturally. 
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It’s the goal, though. 
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This weary world needs that from us Believers during this season, more than ever… even more than an Anthropologie-window-display worthy Christmas home tour. 
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I’m working on both.
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