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The Devil’s Workshop.

Melissa Beene Ford/ Annie

Its Monday morning. I’m sitting here in my home office trying NOT to choke to death on clouds of flea-spray fumes wafting throughout my entire house.

“Why,” you might ask, “would you have clouds of flea-spray fumes wafting throughout the entire house?”

And here’s your answer.

This precious little angel. The picture of innocence.

She LOVES to help me.

She LOVES to clean.

So while I turned my back to her for 15 minutes to check my email (which I KNOW from experience is something I should never, ever do),

She took it upon herself to scoot her beloved little white stool (a shower gift from my friend Julie R…..thanks, Julie….this stool has been the accomplice in lots of Baby A’s trouble-making, and has been pushed many a mile around our house)….

….up to the laundry room counter….

and get the flea spray. That I thought was safely out of reach.

She proceeded to soak a few laundry items that I had laid out to treat for stains.

Because she loves to help and has seen me spray the laundry for stains. She was only doing what she had seen me do….only she used the flea spray instead of oh, say, Zout or Spray-n-wash.

She cleaned the laundry room floor with flea spray. The lineoleum now glistens with the greasy sheen of flea spray.

She sprayed my mom’s antique barley twist table. Don’t tell mom, anyone.

She sprayed my bulletin board.

She sprayed a big puddle on my grandmother’s dining room table. And made the finish crackle. Only on the leaf, though, as if that’s any consolation.

She took the finish off my painted black work table in my home office.

Which is how I finally caught her.

As I was sitting here, with my back to her, checking my email…..I just so happened to hear the sound of a squirt bottle, squirting.

I asked, “What are you doing, Baby A?”

“I cleanin’, Momma!”

And boy was she……

Cleaned the finish RIGHT OFF my hairbow table.

So now I’m making plans to go to the zoo…..the mall? …. ANYWHERE?….just to get this kid out of the house and keep her little hands occupied and entertained.

You know what they say about Idle Hands.

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Comments

  1. Shanequa says

    February 17, 2009 at 2:00 am

    Oh, my…you must have had a BUNCH of emails! Did it erase all your measurements off your hairbow table?

    Reply
  2. Betsy says

    February 17, 2009 at 3:07 am

    "She sprayed a big puddle on my grandmother’s dining room table. And made the finish crackle."<BR/><BR/>This made me laugh like a hyena.

    Reply
  3. Connie says

    February 17, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    This was painful to read. Truly. <BR/><BR/>It’s like you don’t really want to finish reading but you still do….<BR/><BR/>And now it’s time for Baby A to get a lesson on cleaning products. <BR/><BR/>This will be funny to you in a few years…funny to us…RIGHT NOW.<BR/><BR/>Although, I am so sorry..totally sucks.

    Reply
  4. ohhollyf says

    February 17, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    Oh No !

    Reply

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About Me


Hey there... I'm Melissa! Texas girl. Mom to three + one goldendoodle. Believer. Old house fanatic. Creating a happy + healthy home with purpose is my passion. I'm so glad you're here!

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I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 I don’t know who’s big idea it was to strip 80 years of paint off of this door down to the wood and start over… but that person has no business starting new projects. 😅 My neighbors must have thought this project would never end. *I* thought this project would never end. 😰 If you’re thinking of doing this yourself? Just don’t, ok? Throw the whole door away and buy a new one. 😂🤣 Just kidding.  Old house weirdos like me… we can’t just do things the easy way. Anyhoo… after some trial and error, @sherwinwilliams Celestial is what I landed on, and I have to say… I like it. Periwinkle-ish blue looks great with the yellow house and will look even better when the azaleas are in bloom. Was it all worth it? That’s not important right now. 🤭 Will I do this all again in two years? The magic eight ball says… without a doubt. 👏🏻 I’ve already picked the next color. #gluttonforpunishment #somefoolsneverlearn #oldhouselove #oldhomelove #makinghome #southernliving #gardenandgun #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in Spring in the Azalea District makes the winters in an 80-year-old house completely worth it … what broken pipes, icy hardwood floors and drafty windows? 🤔 I forgot already. #comeonspring #azaleadistrict #tylertx
Happy Saturday ☀️ Happy Saturday ☀️
Salt Lake City is always magical ✨ Salt Lake City is always magical ✨
2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrollin 2022 had its highs and lows for sure, but scrolling through my pics from the last twelve months made me realize how blessed and content I am. Prosperity, love, and peace have been ours in abundance, in spite of the pain of losing my dad. The second picture is the last picture of him… the last time I saw him. 💔 But God has been good to my family this year and 2022 is ending far better than it began. 😄 #2022inreview #thanksforthememories
Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍ Who wants a Christmas tour of my home? 🙋🏼‍♀️
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That’s it. That’s the tour. (Slide two). 
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It’s a new trend I’m starting: bare Christmas tree. Lowe’s tag still attached (so quirky and unexpected)! Christmas ornaments still in boxes. Coming soon to an Anthropologie window display near you. 
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Every year I think, “next year I’ll do better. Next year I’ll have it together.” And then, here we are on the SIXTH Christmas that we’ve been in this house, the sixth Christmas I’ve dragged our chaotic bunch of Christmas mess out of a chaotic garage I still haven’t unpacked from our move six years ago. 
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Maybe this year is the year I’ll organize it all and put it back neatly so that by Christmas number 7, it will be smooth sailing. People will flock to my social media to see how I’ve pulled everything off SO PERFECTLY. Next year will be my year. 
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Seems every year there’s less and less bandwidth for all these things. There’s more grief and stress, less money. More demands, less grace. 
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I put this sign on the wall in my office so I could keep it in front of my eyes: Love. Joy. Peace. And all that. I am SO unlike Jesus most days. So lacking in all of these character qualities. And that’s WITH waking up most mornings and spending my first 30 minutes with God Himself. 
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How lost would I be without that? Geez. I can’t fathom. I REQUIRE being transformed by renewing my mind every single morning, and even then, responding to people and life with love, joy, peace and patience doesn’t come naturally. 
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It’s the goal, though. 
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This weary world needs that from us Believers during this season, more than ever… even more than an Anthropologie-window-display worthy Christmas home tour. 
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I’m working on both.
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