My girls are gone for almost two weeks.
I try to stay busy enough to distract myself to the point that I don’t notice the pain, but in the middle of the night it breaks through.
My heart feels hollow and stinging and my stomach hurts.
They’re only blocks from me… literally… but I can’t see them, hug them, or kiss their heads.
Their bunk beds are empty and their dolls are abandoned.
I can’t stand it. I keep their door closed because I can’t stand it.
I don’t sleep when my kids are gone, and as I write this post, its 3:23am.
They called me on the phone today, Annie totally excited that she’d gotten to go to the Villages Water Park for the first time today.
I bet she did the Annie Face all day… and that makes me elated for her, and sad for me that I couldn’t be there with her. Just thinking about hearing her voice on the phone earlier has me choked up and the tears streaming all over again.
I don’t know what to do with myself when they’re gone… in the middle of the night when the pain breaks through.
Hurry up June 12th.