{Trim Healthy Style} Cauliflower Pizza Crust

Take a look at this Homemade Cauliflower Crust Alfredo Cheese Pizza, would you?

Oh, it looks delicious all right… but would you believe me if I told you it’s HEALTHY?

Well, maybe not by some definitions, because my version is coated with a generous layer of butter, cream, and cheese… but if you’re a believer in whole foods like I am, and that butter and cream from grass-fed cows are GOOD for you (they are), then you will LOVE this…. OR you could just make the crust and top it with plain fat-free lettuce if you want. But I wouldn’t recommend that.

Because bread is life, man…

I got the idea from my Trim Healthy Mama book {see this post for a review!} and since my #1 diet killer is BREAD — mmm, hot, fresh, garlicky bread — I knew that if THM was gonna work for me at ALL, I would have to find some way to survive without icky white flour, and THUS, needed to master some bread substitutes.

Enter Fooled Ya Pizza (p. 277 in the original cookbook). With not one crumb of nasty, diet-busting white flour anywhere to be found.

Because it’s made from… stay with me here… cauliflower. WAIT! COME BACK! COME BACK!

Are you still here? Whew. Now. Believe me when I say, I’ve never been a fan of cauliflower. And some people I know would soooonah chew broken glaaaaass {must read that in Carson’s Downton Abbey accent} than to EVER eat {choke. sputter.} cauliflower.

AND in spite of our wicked cauliflower aversions, WE *LIKED* THIS RECIPE because you canNOT taste cauliflower. And you KNOW I always tell the truth.

I’ve made it twice, and it kind of flopped the first time because of the extra water in the cauliflower.

The key is crispy crust!

Lesson learned the hard way: must remove moisture from the cauliflower. A tip I learned from Facebook? Run your cooked cauliflower through a juicer first. BRILLIANT! 

This is, um, juiced cauliflower pulp.  Trust me; this recipe gets better.

But what to do with the juice that comes out? I offered it to Katie, because I LOVE her and I want her to be healthy.

She was less than thrilled. I can’t imagine why, what with all those nutrients and whatnot…

It’s like she doesn’t even care about her health.

Kids these days...  

We poured the juice in the compost bin.

Add egg whites to your cauliflower pulp. I’ve started buying egg whites in a carton, because THM recipes use SO many and you’ll end up with more egg yolks than you can use. This is what egg whites in a carton look like… um… snotty, gelatinous liquid… on top of cauliflower pulp…

WAIT! COME BACK! COME BACK!

Trust me. This recipe gets better. And you know I always tell the truth.

And here’s where the recipe turns the corner. Mozzarella cheese. LOTS of it.

Then add some sea salt to that. I like Real Salt.

You’ll want to line a bar pan with some parchment paper. This mixture is sloppy and gunky and will ooze all off in your oven if you’re not careful. Use a pan with edges, like the Pampered Chef Bar Pan.

See? Sloppy. Gunky. But it does get better.

Spread it thin and evenly so it will ALL get brown. Then bake the goo for 15 minutes or so in a HOT oven, like 450* hot. I think I left mine a little longer because I wanted it CRISPY.

Meanwhile, make Homemade Alfredo Sauce. Of course, you don’t HAVE to top your pizza the same way I do; if you like red sauce, by all means, use that.

I don’t like red sauce, but this Alfredo is the BOMB. I imagine a chicken-bacon-ranch pizza would be good, and I may try that next time… just a thought.

Here’s my nice, toasted cauliflower pizza crust.

But… you want it crispy and toasted on BOTH sides, so gently, carefully, flip it using the waxed paper. Then remove the waxed paper and toast five more minutes. Or longer if you want. Crispy is what we’re after.

Top with ooey, gooey homemade Alfredo Sauce. And some more mozzarella. Or whatever topping you want. This was for my kids, so I poured on the fat grams, baby.

Their little brains are made out of fat and water, after all, and I want them to have all the brains they can get. If you’re worried eating fat makes your kids fat, don’t be… you should see my kids’ beanpole legs, and they’re on a full-fat diet. It’s the empty carbs you have to worry about… and this recipe solves that. There AREN’T any.

So pat yourself on the slim, svelte back, knowing you can eat like THIS and still be Trim and Healthy. 

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For Homemade Alfredo Sauce recipe click here.

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